Over the last decade, I’ve worked with hundreds of high-achieving high schoolers on their way to selective institutions like Harvard, Princeton, and Stanford.

I’ve seen what the parents of my students have done to set their kids up for success, such as encouraging independence early on and respecting their interests. I also learned a lot from what they regret doing the most.

Here are three things those parents wish they had done differently:

Students should absolutely challenge themselves. But in competitive environments, it can be easy to go overboard.

Every year, parents call me to ask if their junior should drop one of their many advanced placement (AP) courses. AP classes can easily add hundreds of hours of extra work to a student’s plate over the course of a school year.