Using money to change a relationship, particularly one with children, is not loving behaviour. You have to take control of your own life
I have been with my partner for 14 years and we have two small children together. I have always had a complicated relationship with my mother, who was a stern disciplinarian when I was growing up, and is deeply sensitive and lacks social confidence. I too am probably overly sensitive and get anxious.
My partner believes that my mother doesn’t think she is good enough for me. There have been numerous hints that this is the case, and she recently told me she was surprised when I started a relationship with someone whom she considers to be of “a different class”.
My partner wants nothing to do with my mother and has not spoken to her in a couple of years. I was estranged for around a year and a half after my mother offered to help us through a period of financial difficulty in the early years of having children, but only if I officially separated from my partner and her parents matched the contribution. We recently reconciled, at which point my mother told my father that she would commit suicide if she were held responsible for the estrangement.
Most recently my mother has taken the position that she will cut me out of her will if my partner continues her estrangement. I feel my partner should be entitled to do what she wants, and that we should present a united front. I am really struggling with what I see as manipulation at a time when I am trying to do the best for my children, and am considering walking away again. Would that be doing the right thing?
