In her new memoir, Hala Alyan reflects on her fractured lineage and having a child against all odds
In the poem Hours Ghazal, published in 2024, Hala Alyan writes: “The cost of wanting something is who you are on the other side of getting it.” The line is a glimpse into the mind of a woman, who, at 38, has paid a high price for desire and emerged intact after living through what might feel like several lifetimes for the rest of us.
Alyan is a Palestinian American poet, novelist, clinical psychologist and psychology professor at New York University. She is also the author of a memoir published this week titled I’ll Tell You When I’m Home.
To pre-empt a skeptical raised eyebrow over a memoir at 38, be assured: this is an unusual book. It is a story of the violence of exile over generations, a profound desire for motherhood, as well as surrogacy, addiction and the importance of remembering. The book is also a rumination on the nature of memoir and the often impossible attempts to reclaim and understand one’s past.
Alyan was born in the United States, and though she has never lived in Palestine, early in the memoir, she writes:
