The phrase 'Football's coming home' has become England's enduring self-parody, sung at every tournament. This chant echoes across pubs and patios, a mix of hymn and hallucination. Football originated in England and was exported to countries that excelled at the sport. The irony is that 'coming home' has become a cosmic joke, a soundtrack to heartbreak. This silliness is the point, a sophisticated theatre of self-mockery with patriotism.