For some couples, eating a meal together may be where their compatibility ends. While one person scarfs down a meal, another may take leisurely bites in what is known as an “eating speed” gap.These “eating speed” differences have been satirized in TikTok skits, with couples trying to match their partner’s eating pace to funny results. Usually, there’s one person who is noticeably slower at eating their meal, while their partner rushes to clear their plate.“He had to wait three to four business days for the next bite,” a commenter wrote after a video where one partner carefully sauces her bowl and chooses her television show before taking one bite. And your date’s eating speed could make or break your relationship, depending on how you view it. Evelyn Pechous, an associate licensed marriage and family therapist, said it’s common for couples to navigate life at different paces. “My perspective is that partners who eat at different paces may actually be more compatible than not,” Pechous said. “Eating at different paces could indicate a necessary balance in the relationship where one person may move through the world more slowly while another may move with more vigor.” Ultimately, the only problem with an “eating speed” gap is if your date makes it a problem.urbazon via Getty ImagesIt’s natural to eat at different speeds than the person you are dating. But be open-minded about what sharing a meal can mean for each person. An ‘eating speed’ gap doesn’t need to be a dealbreaker, as long as you’re respectful.Matching your partner’s eating speed is not important, but respecting these common differences is. Notice how your partner treats you during mealtimes, because it can tell you important information about how you will be treated in the long run. “If they’re respectful, like telling you not to rush and to enjoy your meal, then that’s a positive for your relationship and a good sign to continue dating them,” said Anita Chlipala, a marriage and family therapist. But “if they continually make rude or condescending comments, like telling you you’re the slowest person on the planet or an idiot for not eating faster or for savoring your food, it might be time to stop dating them or reassess the viability of the relationship.”Everyone has a different relationship to food, and happier couples are open-minded when eating faster or slower has a deeper meaning for one person. “Don’t make the other feel bad or wrong for how they eat,” Chlipala said. “Talk about the why. It’s fine if there’s not a deeper reason for your eating speed, but for some, there is.”Chlipala recalled working with couples that argued over whether eating too fast resulted in less quality time together.As an example, Chlipala described a couple eating dinner at home, where the faster eater gets up from the table right after they finish, which hurts the feelings of the slower-eating partner.“The faster eater is ready to start cleaning, while the slower eater was hoping for connection time,” Chlipala said. Compromises can help both slow and fast eaters. If you’re on a timeline, the slower eater may need to make adjustments, so you and your date can make your post-dinner show, Chlipala suggested, noting that fast eaters may need to be mindful of eating more than their fair share if they are splitting portions. And instead of making one partner a perpetrator, reframe any concerns about how your partner eats as if you’re collaborating together on a problem, said clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.“They eat fast; that’s not a crime. There is probably a reason for that, and abandoning you is probably not the intended goal,” Howes said. “If you raise the concern and invite your partner to solve it with you, you have a good chance of solving the problem together.”Variety is the spice of life, and that includes watching your restaurant date inhale a burger. “Differences like this are part of entering a relationship with another person,” Howes said. “It’s actually a key component of it ― we want to join with someone who is a little different than us because it adds variety and novelty to our lives.”