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Dear For Love & Money,My husband is really controlling with money. He sees anything I spend outside of the bare essentials as frivolous. We aren't wealthy, and we do have a lot of credit card debt, but we have a decent income, and we should be able to afford some extras.The main extra we are fighting about right now is a gym membership. I'm "allowed" my $10 a month membership to a cheap fitness club, but I would really like us both to go to one of the nice ones with a smoothie bar, sauna, and a pool. In a perfect world, I would also have a personal trainer. I see it as an investment in our health, which is the most important thing.My husband doesn't want a membership at all, and if I'm being honest, it shows. I get that our finances are important to him, and our credit card debt stresses him out, but I care about both of us looking and feeling our best. He is out of shape and always complaining about aches and pains. How do I get him to understand the importance of putting our health first?Sincerely,Gym Rat
Dear Gym Rat,Couples who share a life also share financial responsibilities. But what shared finances don't necessitate are shared financial priorities — even if it might be easier when they align.You say your husband is controlling with finances, but later in your letter, you ask me how to get him to put both of your health needs first. It makes me wonder: Is he controlling? Or does he simply prioritize financial fitness while you prioritize physical fitness?
