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There was a cautious cheer for Andy Burnham as he stood up for his first PMQs. MPs were perhaps cautious of a repeat of the day before when Burnham delivered the longest opening statement of modern times. Or maybe the PM’s summer of lying low just meant that some of the more intellectually challenged members had forgotten who he was.
I think we have found the new ‘my father was toolmaker’ and it’s Andy’s patented Ena Sharples tribute act
It may have been 16 years, but Mr Burnham was at his ease as he rose for the first question. Clearly circumlocution is a bit like riding a bike – it’s the preferred way to get anywhere in the Labour Party. In a classic example of the genre, Burnham managed to turn a perfectly reasonable request to apologise to those who thought the murderers of their loved ones were being released early into a chance to shower glory on his own listening skills.
When Kemi Badenoch rose to speak there was a flurry of smut as MPs chose to read filthiness into her congratulation of the PM ‘for his stamina’. ‘Three hours!’ she cooed. Mr Burnham, not for the first or last time, turned red. Mrs Badenoch then continued by asking him – with regard to the night before – ‘whether he ever said no?’ Just before a speedo clad Charles Hawtrey popped up from the Lib Dem benches (where else), Mrs Badenoch turned specifically to spending requests from backbenchers.
