“I’m lonely” are some of the hardest words to say for young people who are supposedly living their best life through late teens and early 20s.Yet it is consistently one of the top five issues raised with the youth information organisation SpunOut in its free, 24/7 text support service (text Hello to 50808).Loneliness is commonly paired with anxiety, sadness or stress.“That’s what really stood out to us,” says SpunOut chief executive Sinéad Keane about their analysis last year of data from their service. Interactions can be anything from a calming chat, “right up to people messaging us from under their duvet at two o’clock in the morning with thoughts of suicide”.The age spans most affected by loneliness were 16-24 years, followed by 25-34.“Loneliness and isolation seem to have quietly grown into one of the most alarming challenges young people now face,” she says. The findings prompted their publication of a report, Loneliness: What Ireland’s Young People are Telling Us, last November. Some 59 per cent of texters experiencing loneliness live in their family home, which is very different from the stereotype image of loneliness as an older person home alone.High-quality social connections are essential to our mental and physical health and our wellbeing, according to the World Health Organisation. Social isolation and loneliness are increasingly recognised as a priority public health problem and policy issue across all age groups.The first EU-wide survey on loneliness published in 2022 found a high prevalence in Ireland. More than 20 per cent of respondents here reported feeling lonely most or all the time, well above the EU average of 13 per cent.Loneliness is subjective. It is “the gap between the relationships we have and the ones we want, a feeling that our social needs are not being met”, says Edel Walsh, lecturer in economics in the Cork University Business School at UCC. Drawing on data from that EU survey, she has looked at how childhood experiences might help to explain why some young adults are more vulnerable to loneliness.Occasional loneliness is a very normal part of life. It’s more that persistent loneliness that can have a really profound impact on young people’s mental health— Sinéad Keane“The strongest finding from the research is the importance of early friendships,” she says. “Young people who grew up without close, comfortable friendships were significantly more likely to feel frequently lonely into their 20s.”This under­scores the case for early investment in social skills and peer inclusion during school years, she writes in a report of the study’s findings, in a recent edition of the Journal of Family and Economic Issues. Other strongly associated factors included feeling distant from parents, particularly among girls, and chronic illness and problematic drinking within the family home.“If we want to understand why so many young people experience loneliness, we need to look not only at their current circumstances, but also at the environments in which they grew up,” she adds.“Occasional loneliness is a very normal part of life,” says Keane. “It’s more that persistent loneliness that can have a really profound impact on young people’s mental health.”While digital media is often seen as a villain, the reality is a little more complex, she suggests. “Yes, it can amplify feelings of isolation, but for some people it can provide really vital connection, especially for young people who feel marginalised.”[ ‘I don’t have a wall around me, I have an electric fence’Opens in new window ]While SpunOut is an online service, it is a bridge to real-world connections, signposting people to available supports. She stresses the need for increased investment in youth work and youth services.“They are real-life spaces where young people can come together, hang out. They don’t have to spend any money and they can build connections and have a bit of fun together.” There are “amazing youth services all over the country” but they need more investment to address a growing need.[ Loneliness at college: ‘Even though I have friends I still feel lonely, which is interesting’Opens in new window ]“I don’t think it’s possible to talk about loneliness among young people without talking about the [Covid] pandemic,” Keane continues.People may think we have moved on, but our days looked different pre-pandemic. “Now a lot of people are spending time online, and it’s not just for entertainment, it’s for education, which has moved online in some circumstances; work has moved online.”As a result, young people are by themselves more, whether in a bedroom in their family home or in a rental room, studying and/or working, and spend less time socialising in real life and building relationships.People’s social worlds have shrunk since the Covid-19 pandemic, agrees executive psychologist and CEO coach Jill Walker. It led to much more widespread working from home and, even in leisure time, “some habits never really got re-established”.Despite the welcome flexibility that remote or hybrid working offers, there is a hidden cost from a psychological perspective, she suggests. While the advantage of not having, say, a long commute is very obvious, the negative impact of the loss of chat and connection is not. We have a primal need for a sense of belonging.[ Loneliness: There’s a reason why we use the term ‘power of connection’Opens in new window ]“We couldn’t survive outside the tribe so that is really hard-wired in us,” says Walker, who started a monthly, now weekly, breakfast gathering in south Dublin for people who, like her, work from home. These informal, drop-in coffee-and-connect meetings are intended as a substitute for random, water-cooler chats, and not a networking event where attending is a performance. She recalls how one man in his 20s who came along said he absolutely loved remote working, but he had not solved the feeling of lack of connection and community.Nina Arwitz, chief executive of Volunteer Ireland Meeting people and making friends are always in the top three or four reasons people volunteer, says Nina Arwitz, chief executive of Volunteer Ireland, which supports local volunteer centres, of which there is one in every county. However, young people are more likely to face the “classic barriers to volunteering, which are access to transport and travel, costs and expenses”. Young adults also tend to be more transient and less rooted in their community.Volunteer Ireland was involved in Erasmus+ research of youth volunteering across 10 European countries, entitled Stop Loneliness, Start Volunteering. Some 65 per cent of young people said volunteering helped them overcome feelings of loneliness and isolation.Arwitz finds it very interesting that young people also reported not wanting to talk about feeling lonely. Struggling with mental health has become destigmatised, and it’s okay to come out and say you’re part of the LGBTQ community, she observes, “yet to say you’re lonely still has a stigma”.