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Coyote and Will Forte in Coyote vs. Acme. Photo by Warner Bros.We independently select everything we recommend. Buying through us may earn us a commission, which supports our work.I waited years, decades, for this movie. The Road Runner cartoons were part of my Gen X childhood, blasting shameless violence from the boob tube every Saturday morning. “Coyote v. Acme,” a New Yorker comic piece written in legalese, was published in 1990 when I was an impressionable young journalism student. The film began development in 2018.Enjoy the latest local, national and international news.Exclusive articles by Conrad Black, Barbara Kay and others. 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Plus, special edition NP Platformed and First Reading newsletters and virtual events.Unlimited online access to National Post.National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.Support local journalism.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one account.Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments.Enjoy additional articles per month.Get email updates from your favourite authors.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one accountShare your thoughts and join the conversation in the commentsEnjoy additional articles per monthGet email updates from your favourite authorsSign In or Create an AccountorIt lands in theatres this week. And I’m sorry to say but it landed on me like a boulder, squishing my body into a wheezy accordion. I waited a lifetime for this? What a maroon!It’s earnest, hopeful, and ambitious. But it’s a misfire on par with Acme’s rocket-powered roller skates.Let’s start with its human star, Will Forte. Funny guy; SNL, MacGruber, Last Man on Earth. But he’s not Looney, which is what this movie needs. John Cena, who has a part as an Acme lawyer and engages in a hilarious diphthong-off with Tweety Bird, is Looney. So was Bob Hoskins, star of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?What is Looney? It’s difficult to define but you know it when you see it. Will Ferrell, Steve Martin, Jason Segel — all Looney. Forte’s a little too grounded, too morose. Ditto Lana Condor, who plays his character’s niece and the intern at his law firm, which Wile E. Coyote hires to sue the Acme corporation over its comically destructive product line. John Cena and Tweety Bird in Coyote vs. Acme. Photo by Warner Bros.In fact, Condor’s role is indicative of another problem with the film; too many humans, not enough toons. Sure, we get cameos aplenty, and Foghorn Leghorn in a meaty role as an Acme executive.But the mighty Bugs Bunny is relegated to a shadowy Deep Throat character, a role that could have been played by anyone. Casting him as Forte’s right hand would have killed two birds (apologies to Tweety and Foghorn) with one stone.There’s also the matter of time period. Coyote cartoons are mid-century creations. Roger Rabbit was set in 1947. Putting Coyote vs. Acme squarely in the present day creates a tension greater than one Acme Brand Giant Rubber Band (For Tripping Road Runners). And images of the classic-looking Coyote interacting with a clearly CG-animated modern fighter jet cause the tension to snap.Director Dave Green and writer Samy Burch (who has another film in theatres, the excellent Late Fame with Willem Dafoe) should have focused more on cartoon antics and inanity, and less on courtroom capers. As funny as it is to watch Luis Guzman as a judge banging a squeaky gavel, it can’t hold a candle to the sort of physics-defying comedy of a classic Road Runner cartoon.The first of those, Fast and Furry-ous, was released in theatres almost 80 years ago, on Sept. 17, 1949. Audiences might have seen it ahead of a screening of White Heat, a Warner Bros. crime thriller starring James Cagney.Amazingly, it arrived with most of its signature elements already baked in. The characters were introduced with faux-Latin names and communicated with signs. (The Road Runner had one that said: “Road Runners Can’t Read.”) Wile E. Coyote prepares to try out a pair of Acme rocket-powered roller skates. Photo by Warner Bros.The coyote drew blueprints, shopped at Acme and crafted Rube Goldberg devices; one involved a refrigerator, a meat grinder, an electric motor and skis. He even drew a tunnel on the side of a cliff face, which the Road Runner passed through effortlessly, while the Coyote slammed into it like the rock it was.A total of 45 Road Runner shorts were made between 1949 and 1964, although, incredibly, there was a gap of three years between the first and the second. At 103 minutes, Coyote vs. Acme is some 15 times longer than most of the originals, but nowhere near as memorable.It has its moments, though they are few. The aforementioned Cena stands out, as does the excellent voice work by Scarborough, Ont., native Eric Bauza, listed as the voice of Foghorn, Bugs, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tweety, Charlie Dog, Dr. Lorre and Gossamer. I swear I heard him doing Marvin the Martian in one scene, but I never spotted the alien.The film has been doing well with critics, and has a 96 per cent rating at rottentomatoes.com, with only a couple of “rotten” reviews. I think some of the ecstatic critiques may be from those desperate for any return of the Golden Age Looney Tunes characters. (It’s been four years since we had a Space Jam.)There may also be those who are channelling their sympathy for the movie’s very survival. Back in 2023, in a plot worthy of Acme itself, Warner Bros. announced that the already finished film would be shelved as a tax write-off. An outcry from fans caused the studio to reverse that decision and allow Coyote vs. Acme to be purchased and released by Ketchup Entertainment.But the film itself, while not worth blowing up with dynamite, also isn’t worth your time and money at the cinema. If that sounds harsh, and if this review depresses the movie’s fortunes by a fraction, I can only reply in the immoral words of Mr. B. Bunny: “Ain’t I a stinker?”Coyote vs. Acme opens Aug. 28 in theatres.1 star out of 5 Join the Conversation This website uses cookies to personalize your content (including ads), and allows us to analyze our traffic. Read more about cookies here. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.