My grandparents wanted to age at home. Eventually, their care cost $4,000 a week.

The author's grandparents, Bob and Ruth McMillan, celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary in September 2025.

Courtesy of the author

My grandparents lived at home until dying in their 90s in 2024 and 2025.Like many people, they had no desire to leave their shared home at the end of their lives. They wanted to stay in a comfortable place together. Through great sacrifice, my mom and her siblings worked to make that happen for them.My grandparents, a rural, middle-class couple, benefited from an increasingly unique set of circumstances: Their end-of-life illnesses were relatively short. My grandfather's pension provided financial security. Most importantly, they had six adult children ready to pitch in to make it happen. Even with all of these advantages, caregiving was complicated.Their family had meetings every Sunday to discuss their careIn their 90s, my grandparents showed typical yet concerning signs of extreme old age, like balance issues, smaller appetites, and forgetfulness. So, my mom and her siblings started a series of "family meetings," Sunday afternoons spent discussing new worries and divvying up to-dos. They divided and conquered to help their parents stay at home.

Bob and Ruth McMillan with their children in 2019. The six siblings divided care amongst themselves to keep their parents aging at home.