“Your AMH level has come back at 2.72 pmol/L, which would be considered in the lower range for your age.” Those exact words taunted me from across the screen as I read over the findings of a blood test I had taken at Thérapie Fertility Clinic in Dublin just two days before receiving that email.I fought the urge to release the tears building up behind my eyes, partly because I was sitting at a table in the middle of a coffee shop, coincidentally beside a woman and a child who appeared to be her daughter.It only took one glance in their direction for that future to start feeling more and more unlikely with each passing second.Fortunately, my angst around the situation was silenced after I spoke to Dr John Kennedy, the medical director at Thérapie Fertility, who explained the role of Anti-Müllerian Hormone (AMH) and how it’s used in fertility assessments. AMH is a protein produced in the ovaries. It is a marker of egg supply because it provides an estimate for the number of eggs remaining.Kennedy says a normal AMH range for a 36-year-old woman is somewhere between 10 and 20 pmol/L. With mine being 2.72, an undeniably low figure, it means I likely have fewer eggs in my overall supply compared with someone with a higher AMH level.But it is only an estimate. AMH is more of a screening tool than a fertility test because it doesn’t indicate how likely a person is to conceive spontaneously. It also doesn’t shed any light on egg quality. As far as egg quality goes, age is the best indicator of egg quality, and egg quality is the best indicator of overall fertility. Another important note he made about AMH is that it relies heavily on the point it’s taken in a woman’s cycle. So it really is a result you take in context. A combination of AMH and a scan of the ovaries is what he’d recommend for a clearer picture.Although Kennedy referred to it as an “unreliable witness” for fertility, he says it indicates what fertility options could work for them, and how proactive they should be about having children. Being proactive about having children is not something I ever envisioned for myself.As someone who has always lived a life of serendipity, the story I told myself over the course of my life is that it will happen if it’s meant to happen. But when you’re presented with information that can potentially exclude you from being the type of woman who blesses her friends and family with news of a “happy accident”, it forces you to confront the script you’ve been telling yourself all these years. It forces you to challenge your ideology of what it means to be a mother and contemplate whether you believe you have the mental strength it takes to be one.Filomena Kaguako: 'Being proactive about having children is not something I ever envisioned for myself.'