Ever since she was a young child Vicki Notaro knew that she did not want to become a mother. The successful author and former magazine editor remembers at a young age, telling her own mother that she had no desire to have any children. “It was something that I just couldn’t force myself to want,” she says. Notaro says she has been writing about her decision to remain childfree, since she was a young reporter at Stellar magazine in a bid to “normalise” the life choice. “It was met with vitriol mostly,” she says of her early articles on the subject 18 years ago. Since then she has noticed there is more tolerance of her choice to remain childfree. “That’s one thing that I’ve really noticed that’s changed. People are just like, ‘Cool, whatever. You do you’,” she says. Speaking on the latest episode of The Irish Times Women’s Podcast, Notaro notes that today, women in their 40s have more freedom and face less judgement to live how they choose, whether that means being childfree by choice, married with kids or remaining single.This autonomy inspired her new book Anywhere but Here, which is an exploration of “the fact that at 40 women can be in any position now”. It follows three friends, one of whom is an empty nester, another a newlywed and the third who is single and devoted to her career. The trio go on a trip to Donegal for some much needed soul-searching and to find out what really makes them happy in life. Notaro also discusses middle-age, saying that 40 was always a “scary” age in her mind. As a younger woman she recalls hearing “that you become invisible” in midlife. She remembers fearing that outcome and wondering how to avoid it. However, having turned 40 this year, the author says she is now really excited about getting older and is enjoying the growth that comes with it. As she ages, she feels more comfortable in herself, has stopped “people-pleasing” and feels wiser. “You get to know yourself more. You take less crap ... the growth that comes with age, nobody really talked about that,” she tells podcast presenter Róisín Ingle. You can listen back to their conversation in the player above or search The Women’s Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.