When parents divide money between their children, equal can seem like the obvious definition of fair. But real families are rarely that simple.
Over the years, people have told me stories about inheritances, financial help and family decisions that have left siblings feeling grateful, guilty, overlooked or resentful. Often, nobody has behaved particularly badly. They have simply had different ideas about what fairness means.
Karen, 88, knows this only too well. Her two daughters are now in very different financial positions, Donna has been sensible with money, and moves into retirement with good investments. Sally, the youngest, lived for today, with just a small private pension and worries about how she will manage when she stops her part-time job. Over the years, Sally received considerably more financial help from their parents than her sister Donna: support through university, clothes, holidays and help when money was tight.
Shorts
Donna became independent very young. “Donna was always the one who just got on with things,” Karen says. “If she needed something, she found a way of paying for it. Her sister was much more likely to come to us and say she couldn’t afford something, and of course we helped.”
