I am method writing this from my broiling garrett, hot desking in the solitary and literal sense. It’s 31 degrees outside, while inside, or so my fan informs me, it’s a toasty 29. I love WFH, but not in this weather. Terraced houses weren’t built for heat. What I’d give to be in an office, near a watercooler, in a thermostatically controlled environment so chilly I have goosebumps.
Which likely makes me an OHC – overheated freelance cliche – for at this stage in the game, with the heatwave having lasted a record 37 days (according to The Met Office), you can’t be a UK resident without falling into one tribe or another. Read on to see whether any of these are your people.
The AC bore
In the lexicon of chat, few topics are more boring than the efficacy of another person’s aircon. You wouldn’t talk about the performance of your Worcester Bosch during Christmas drinks, so why is it okay to bore on about your 29” Russel Hobbs tower fan in a beer garden? The AC bore lures you in gently by asking how you slept and sympathising with the warm belch emitted by your Pifco desk fan. Once they have you captive, they’re off. Floor fans? Don’t bother. You need a portable aircon unit with a 12000 BTU, at least. No, not an X – they’re overrated foreign crap. What, you don’t have a Dyson Cool PC1 with ten speed variables and 350 degree oscillation? Yes, it is spenny, but they bought theirs in the January sale. Didn’t you?
