Warning: This article contains details of domestic abuse that some readers may find upsetting.SINGAPORE: A week before Chinese New Year in February, Andrew’s wife walked away from their 26-year relationship.She moved out of the family home, leaving him with their four children. Having been shouted at, with objects thrown around, she reached a breaking point and no longer felt safe living with him.Andrew, the sole breadwinner, claimed the housework was “not up to standard”, and he would get unhappy when the house was a “little untidy”.
When their children’s grades fell, he blamed his wife and became angry over how she handled the family’s finances and rental property.Arguments in the car were worse.At times, Andrew drove recklessly to frighten his wife, nearly crashing into another vehicle on one occasion.She initially pleaded with him to stop, but eventually stopped protesting, fearful his anger might escalate.“She felt like I was trying to kill her in those moments, and she thought she was going to die,” Andrew said.When his wife left, Andrew was furious and tried to get her to return, but she told him he needed to change.At a loss, the man sought help from social workers at non-profit organisation Fellowship of Men, where he learnt to recognise his harmful behaviour and better manage his emotions.He realised how difficult it was to manage the household and that he was not showing his wife the gratitude she deserved.But no recovery is instant. Six months on, his wife has yet to move back home.ADMITTING GUILTWith greater awareness of domestic abuse, some family service centres have seen more cases like Andrew’s, where parents and spouses step forward to seek help for their harmful behaviour. According to the latest domestic violence trends report by the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), there were 5,787 new low- to moderate-risk abuse cases in 2024, a 14 per cent increase from 2023. The rise was primarily driven by an increase in child and spousal abuse cases.New spousal abuse cases rose from 2,008 in 2023 to 2,136 in 2024, continuing the upward trend from 2021 to 2023.
