Is this even a valid card? Zero-shot image classification model in a lambda container

No training, no training data and no GPU. This classifier's whole brain is a list of English sentences I typed by hand - and I can teach it a new card type by writing one more.

Introduction

In Previous article, I walked through the whole pipeline that turns a crooked phone photo of a collectible AWS Builder Card into a published page. That pipeline goes like this:

Pre-signed upload

Cheap image classifier