Welcome to Sliders, a weekly in-season MLB column that focuses on both the timely and timeless elements of the game.When you’re standing in the shadows of the Baseball Hall of Fame, on the veranda of the Otesaga Hotel in Cooperstown, N.Y., the gentle breeze of the sport’s history wafts over you. In that spirit, at a cocktail party there a couple of weeks ago, I asked Tim Hevly, the Seattle Mariners’ longtime vice president of communications, about the team’s upcoming 50th season celebration.It’s happening this Saturday in Seattle, at the jewelbox ballpark on the corner of Edgar and Dave. Team officials and legends cast ballots for the top 50 players in franchise history, Hevly said, and some media folks weighed in, too.“We probably should have asked you,” he said.But you didn’t, Tim. And even though it’s been 27 years since I covered the Mariners as a beat writer for the old Post-Intelligencer, that hurts. For this week’s column, I was all set to unveil my own list of the top 50 Mariners — but, well, you guys took care of that without me.Instead, I offer an alternate list. In no particular order, here are 50 notable Mariners — some no longer with us, some presented as a joint entry — whose feats, factoids and foibles should never be forgotten.Mario Mendoza, for the “Mendoza Line” (a .200 average, even though Mario actually hit .215) that bears his name.Dave Hollins, who hit .351 down the stretch in 1996 after a trade from Minnesota that cost the Mariners their Class-A Wisconsin Timber Rattlers slugger known as David Arias. Arias later decided to go by his paternal surname, Ortiz, and went on to the Hall of Fame.Wladimir Balentien, the only player in MLB history named Wladimir, who belted 60 home runs — a record in Japan — for the 2013 Yakult Swallows.Lenny Randle, a third baseman who huffed and puffed and blew a ground ball into foul territory.Kirby Snead, the 1,000th player in franchise history.Alex Liddi, the first player born and raised in Italy to reach the majors.Sean Green, Sean White, Nick Green and Rick White, who all played for the colorful Mariners of 2007.Dave Collins, who was misidentified on his 1977 Topps card and scored the Mariners’ first run ever — in their 22nd inning.Matt Tuiasosopo, the brother of a local football legend who hit a home run that broadcaster Mike Blowers predicted with eerie precision.Luis Sojo, one of three 1995 Mariners (with Tino Martinez and Jeff Nelson) who went on to win four championship rings with the Yankees.Gary Gray, because that was somebody’s actual name.Curtis Washington Jr., a deeply respected but light-hitting Class-A outfielder who spent one day on the roster this season as an emergency call-up, but never got into the game.The kitten that tried to kill that poor groundskeeper in 1984.Rick Honeycutt, who stuck a thumbtack in his glove in 1980 to scratch the ball and try to stop a slump. He got caught, got traded — and pitched for 17 more seasons.Byron McLaughlin, an alleged counterfeit-sneaker kingpin and money launderer who has evaded the law for decades.José Mesa, who closed out the M’s for Cleveland in the 1995 ALCS at the Kingdome — then, as a Mariner, blew the save in the first game at the new ballpark in 1999.Ben Broussard and Eduardo Pérez, the left/right DH platoon acquired from Cleveland in separate 2006 trades for Asdrúbal Cabrera and Shin-Soo Choo, who went on to collect 3,432 hits for other teams.Butch Huskey, for the face plant of all face plants.Brien Taylor, the star-crossed 1991 No. 1 pick who washed out with the Yankees, signed with Seattle but failed to make it out of extended spring training in 1999, never recapturing the lightning in his ravaged left shoulder.Arquimedez Pozo, because what a name that is!Doug Strange, for the epic score-tying walk in the 1995 ALDS that drove David Cone from the mound after 147 pitches. Strange days, indeed.Calvin Jones, who blew a save for Randy Johnson but got the win anyway on Oct. 4, 1991, when 55,300 fans saw the Mariners clinch the first winning season in franchise history.Brian Holman, who lost a perfect-game bid with two outs in the ninth inning on April 20, 1990, on a homer in Oakland by former Mariner …Ken Phelps, who might be on the 50 best list but lands here, too, for “Seinfeld.”Bill Caudill, a flaky reliever who entered to the “Pink Panther” theme after posing as an inspector during a team hitting slump in 1982: “I brought in my deerstalker cap and went up to the bat rack,” he told the Los Angeles Times. “I told everybody I was going to solve The Case of the Missing Hits. I took out every bat, looked ’em over, held ’em up to my ear and shook ’em. Then I threw about four in the trash can.”Clint Zavaras, a righty from Denver who made 10 starts for the Mariners in 1989 — and resurfaced 15 years later with two starts for Greece at the Athens Olympics.Bobby Valentine, who finished his playing career with the Mariners in 1979, somehow missing, by two years, the team commercial starring …Tom Paciorek, a 1981 All-Star better known in Seattle for pitching funny nose glasses.Milt Wilcox, who retired after going 0-8 in 1986 to set a Mariners record for most losses in a winless season.Josías Manzanillo, a pitcher who missed a month in 1997 after taking a line drive from Manny Ramirez to the precise spot on his body that should have been protected by a cup. He fielded the ball, threw home for an out — and then had emergency surgery.Goose Gossage, who pitched for his old teammate, Lou Piniella, to finish out his Hall of Fame career as a Mariner in 1994.Randy Winn, who was traded from Tampa Bay for Piniella (yes, traded for a manager) in October 2002. Wrote Piniella in his book with Bill Madden: “All those years in Seattle, the front office could never get a left fielder for me. Now they had.”Brendan Ryan, who really didn’t swing at the last pitch of Philip Humber’s perfect game in 2012.Mike Montgomery, the last major leaguer to throw back-to-back shutouts, in 2015 — a year before Seattle traded him to the Chicago Cubs, for whom he saved Game 7 of the World Series.Bill Mazeroski, who had his own rather important Game 7 moment and coached for the Mariners in 1979 and 1980.Maury Wills, whose disastrous tenure as manager included a suspension and $500 fine in 1981 for ordering the groundskeeper to lengthen the front of the batter’s box so hitters could stand closer to breaking-ball pitchers.Ron Wright, who played one MLB game in his career, on April 14, 2002. Filling in for Edgar Martínez at DH, Wright struck out, grounded into a double play and grounded into a triple play. The New York Times tracked him down five years later in Idaho, where he was studying to be a pharmacist: “Best day of my professional life,” Wright said.
As Seattle salutes the 50 greatest Mariners, these funny 50 won’t make the cut
Forget about the top 50 Seattle Mariners. How about this alternate list instead?











