The owner had already asked for the alert emails to stop. A fix shipped. Then another email landed. Then another.
"ong it just ssent me abother email," he said, voice-dictated, unedited. Fifteen minutes later: "go another one."
The system was reporting an outage that did not exist.
The Transport That Only Ever Failed
A 14-PR merge train had just moved every cron producer's alerting off shared email and onto Buzz, a Nostr-relay team chat. One producer per PR, each with its own liveness contract and a bead receipt. It shipped cleanly. But the library backing those producers carried a default that had only one job: fail.
