It is unkind to laugh at the misfortunes of others, but sometimes a proper belly laugh is the only response. The rich contribution to summer’s lease? Andrew Tate’s prison diaries. In which the self-described pimp, alleged rapist and man accused of facilitating human trafficking discovers an urgent interest in human rights, while fighting extradition to the UK from a US federal prison. In which “Top G” bleats about a broken water tap and stomach problems, or the lack of nail clippers or a pillow, and complains that he and his brother Tristan aren’t allowed speak to their mom. In which a ghost in his prison cell is sufficiently terrified to beg Tate not to annihilate him. In which the same annihilator starts finding it “eerily quiet” up there in his special housing unit because – woah – there are suddenly fewer officers on his wing and he wants followers to know that he would never kill himself. In which he reassures imaginary crowds holding signs outside that he “can feel every word”. In which his “heart breaks” as a “political prisoner for a foreign state, in an American jail”. But also – separately – that “JAIL IS FOR POOR PEOPLE”. In short, a few weeks in jail have crushed the bully who once preached that “depression isn’t real” and that “my kids obey me like f**king soldiers”. His lawyers complain that “the public is greenlighting for the brothers to get murdered in jail” and that they’re being “harassed” by other inmates who call them “a word that starts with a ‘P’ that’s more appropriate to [Jeffrey] Epstein and not to them”. And naturally they argue that Andrew is being prosecuted for being a “political candidate” and “free speech activist”. It’s no Wildean Ballad of Reading Gaol, but in its own way it is a notable ode to a very modern unravelling. We are witnessing the public deconstruction of the king of digital-era pimps. The Top G of the manosphere – “I am the dream of every fertile female alive” – who celebrated his rat-like invincibility, bellowing to his followers from various sunny locations that he’d been “begging” his lawyers to get him to trial to prove his innocence. The megamouth got his wish. Yet he and his lawyers carry on fighting it for some reason. UPDATE: ANDREW & TRISTAN TATE ARE IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENTDays ago, Andrew and Tristan Tate exercised their constitutional rights by visiting the US Capitol in Washington, D.C. They held meetings about their UK party, the midterms, and 2028. They also met with friends and… pic.twitter.com/iSoL7sSIm9— Joe McBride (@McBrideLawNYC) July 19, 2026