Carla Romagnano and her mom.
Carla Romagnano
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Carla Romagnano, who is in her 60s and lives in Idaho with her 84-year-old mom. The following has been edited for length and clarity.In 2022, my mom had a major fall, and prior to that, she was diagnosed with dementia.She broke her femur from the fall, and she needed 24-hour care. I knew my dad wouldn't be able to do that for her, so we hired an in-home caregiver for at least a year.My dad suggested moving to where I live to cut down on caregiving expenses, and because doctors are close by, whether where I live or the next town over. So my dad and I decided we could take care of my mom between us.My dad died unexpectedlyWe put their house on the market. I knew it would sell quickly. Shortly after, my dad died of sepsis, which was just shocking because he was so healthy.I don't know how I packed that house, but I would get up at 7 a.m. and go to bed at midnight. I had some help, but not a lot. Got rid of what we could, sold what we could, and then moved stuff here on top of me having moved in a few years ago. So then I had to pile that stuff on top of it.It's been overwhelming, but I promised my dad I wouldn't put her in a home unless it was absolutely necessary, and it's not yet.
