Halfway through the school summer holidays, and I don’t quite know how to feel. There’s an underlying guilt that I’m working and not spending every moment creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. And also a relief that I’m working because otherwise I’d feel I’d have to spend every moment creating magical memories that will last a lifetime.But mostly I’m just confused, dazed and unsure what day of the week it is. In fact, one day I was so confused and dazed I went into the office and forgot to bring my Mint Crisp with me. And that’s just not good for anyone.To add insult to injury, I’d left it on the diningroom table and the savages had devoured it by the time I got home. Because, you know, they’re on their school summer holidays, loitering around my house, not making magical memories with their mother.Still on I plod, hero that I am. But now we’re at the midpoint, and though mostly I’m walking through shops and supermarkets hoping not to see Halloween paraphernalia on display, because I’m just not there yet, I’m also experiencing a familiar unease and even sadness, dare I say it, at the thoughts of the return to school.Some of that may be the dread of returning to chaotic mornings, rush-hour traffic and surrendering evenings and weekends to activities. Some of it is definitely the dread of the return of the most pointless tasks of all – homework. But much of it I suspect is because another “carefree summer” is half over, and the internet keeps trying to convince me I should be making more of it because my children will grow up and leave me and I’ll be raging then that I didn’t.Now, I suspect the internet isn’t on a deadline. And I suspect the internet’s children don’t look for quite as many snacks as mine do. Nor do I reckon the internet’s children’s bedtimes have gone to pot quite as spectacularly as my children’s have. So “carefree summer” is very much in the eye of the beholder.Yet, talk to any mother who’s trying to manage the summer juggle, and you’ll likely hear similar. “Exhausted”, “frazzled”, “overwhelmed”, “withered”, “broke” and “in desperate need of routine” are just a few of the things mothers caught in the juggle told me they were feeling at a midpoint check-in. That’s not to say others weren’t embracing every bit that the summer has had to offer this year. But this was often dictated by circumstances or even the stage of parenthood they were at.All the same, even the incessant summer sound of my fridge door opening can’t convince me that the trad wife, the only option the algorithm keeps feeding me this summer as an apparent alternative to my frazzle-dom and guilt, is the way forward. And not just because florals aren’t a good look on me.“I treat my husband like he’s Jesus”, one trad wife influencer said. And that’s all I have to say about that. [ Are school mum friends real friends?: ‘They all disappeared’Opens in new window ]Month two of the primary school holidays and month three of the secondary beckon, and I’ll have to console myself at this midway point that I’m doing the best I can. And maybe it can’t even all be too bad as I’m not actually willing them back to school that much – despite the Mint Crisp incident. We have made a few memories so far, I suppose. There were midnight rousings and World Cup matches viewed in the wee hours of the morning when younger, exhausted children, despite their best efforts, fell asleep on the sittingroom floor. And sure look it, we were even all Mayo men and women for one weekend in July, despite having no known ties to the county.And we finally made it back to Italy. The country where I married himself all those summers ago. I wondered, as I strolled the streets of the place I’d once honeymooned, if my children might one day have the same fond memories of Italy as I had. Until later that day when I very publicly fell on my arse by the side of the pool while marching over to reprimand my squabbling youngsters.So yes, memories were most definitely made.