Clinical and counselling psychologist Nidhi Kirpalani says recognising emotional triggers and learning to regulate emotions are critical skills that could help prevent people from acting impulsively during moments of anger or emotional distress.Kirpalani made the comments while speaking with the Sunday Express after the murder of 25-year-old Shayanna Ruiz, who was fatally stabbed on Wednesday during a confrontation with her ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend in Edinburgh 500 South, Chaguanas over a $4,500 debt.Kirpalani said anger was a normal human emotion and should not be viewed as something that had to be avoided, but rather, something that needed to be managed.“Emotional intelligence is not just about being calm or avoiding anger. Anger is a normal human emotion, and it is useful. It tells us that we are hurt, threatened or that something feels unfair. It tells us that we perceive some sort of imbalance,” she explained.According to Kirpalani, the first step to developing emotional intelligence is becoming aware of the situations that trigger emotional reactions.“The important skill is really learning to recognise what is triggering you. Often I tell people that if all you do is recognise and notice it, that’s amazing because now you know more about yourself than you did the day before,” she said.She said simply noticing emotional patterns was a form of taking action because it created greater self-awareness.“If we learn to recognise what triggers us, we can begin to notice that every time a certain situation happens or we behave in a certain way, we don’t like the outcome.”Kirpalani stressed that managing emotions did not mean suppressing anger but preventing it from controlling behaviour.Slow down“It doesn’t mean not being angry. It means asking, ‘How can I be angry and also regulate my body before the emotion drives my behaviour?’”She explained that when people paused before reacting, they were more likely to engage the part of the brain responsible for empathy, judgment and understanding consequences.Kirpalani noted that when emotions become overwhelming, the brain shifts into what she described as a survival response.“When we become very angry, the brain and nervous system shift into survival mode. Your heart rate increases, your thinking becomes more rigid and you become focused on reacting through fight, flight or freeze rather than considering the consequences.”She said slowing down, taking deep breaths and focusing on the present moment allowed people to think through different possible outcomes before acting.“You can pause and ask yourself, ‘What are the consequences of each behaviour?’ You can look at the different possibilities before deciding how to respond,” she said.Kirpalani encouraged people to identify what aspects of a situation were within their control and to consider healthy coping strategies instead of reacting immediately.She also said anger often masked deeper emotions, including sadness, rejection or fear of abandonment.“There may be a second emotion underneath. Someone may begin asking themselves, ‘What’s wrong with me? Why did that person leave me? Am I always going to be alone?’ Those core questions and childhood experiences can come up,” she noted.Kirpalani said emotional intelligence required people to examine whether their reactions were being driven by present circumstances or unresolved emotional issues.She emphasised that managing emotions did not mean accepting unfair treatment or ignoring legitimate feelings.“It doesn’t mean ignoring injustice or ignoring your feelings. It actually means becoming more aware of them, and that is emotional intelligence.”She said developing those skills helped people make better decisions while protecting their well-being and, in some situations, their freedom.“It means responding in the best way, not just surviving but thriving. Sometimes the strongest response is simply to take a step back for a moment and notice how you’re feeling and what is happening in your body,” she said.Kirpalani said building emotional awareness was a gradual process, but one that allowed people to respond thoughtfully instead of allowing intense emotions to dictate their actions.“Whenever you’re feeling yourself getting angry, it’s best to take a step back and just notice yourself and the things around you. Take a step back for a minute and just notice how you’re feeling, what’s happening, and what would be the best course forward...just notice,” she advised.A deeper, disturbing trendMeanwhile, regional security consultant Dr Garvin Heerah said the circumstances surrounding Ruiz’s death ought not to be examined as simply another act of violence in society, but rather a far deeper and more disturbing trend that has infiltrated segments of the populace.“What we are witnessing is the normalisation of aggression as a means of resolving conflict. It is evident in road rage incidents, the increasing levels of violence in our schools, and the language of hatred, division and vengeance that is too often echoed within our public discourse and even through our corridors of power. We also cannot ignore the underlying currents of racial tension that continue to surface beneath the veneer of social harmony,” Heerah told the Sunday Express.He noted from a security perspective, one of the most concerning developments was the increasing level of psychopathology associated with violent crime.“We are seeing offenders displaying extreme brutality, a lack of empathy, and a willingness to kill over disputes that should never escalate beyond a conversation. The violence at many crime scenes is becoming more excessive and more personal, signalling a dangerous shift in behaviour. This is no longer solely a policing issue. It is a national social resilience issue requiring a whole-of-society response involving families, schools, communities, faith-based organisations, mental health professionals and the justice system. If we fail to address the cultural and psychological drivers of violence, we risk raising another generation that views violence as an acceptable solution to conflict,” he argued.He cautioned that if society continued to become desensitised to violence, “it may become a stained fixture of our national character.” He added:“The greatest threat to any nation is not only the criminal with the weapon, but a society that slowly becomes desensitised to violence. That is a trend we must reverse before it becomes permanently embedded in our national character.”