I met Trent in 2012 in a car park in Winnipeg. We were handing out flyers on the Canadian fringe circuit. I was wearing a pink tutu for my contemporary clown show and Trent was in the tight black suit of his vaudeville character the Birdmann. We barely spoke but I had this strange feeling, almost as if I should avoid him – a feeling I sometimes get around people who go on to become important in my life.Trent and Sachie in Seattle in 2012Backstage at the next festival in Edmonton, Trent kept trying to give me liquorice but I don’t like it. I wasn’t sure why he was paying me so much attention, although I wondered if he was impressed by seeing me play trumpet in the show.Afterwards, everyone was heading to dinner. It was pouring rain and Trent was waiting for me with an umbrella. That was the first time we really talked. Later I sat on the back of his bicycle while he rode us home. We got lost and rode around in circles.We spent most of the next two weeks together. What I liked most about him was his gentleness. He is 6ft 2in and softly spoken – a gentle giant. He also made me laugh. I saw his one-man romantic comedy three times; his clowning was hilarious.Trent with Sachie’s mother in Nozawa Onsen in 2015When my tour ended I returned home to Seattle while Trent, who was based in Melbourne, continued west on the fringe circuit. We kept messaging and a couple of weeks later he came to stay with me and my mum, Shoko, for three weeks. In Edmonton we had become romantic without defining what we were, so I simply told Mum a friend was coming to stay.The year before, the coastal town near Sendai where my family lived had been devastated by the 2011 earthquake and tsunami. Mum’s house and car were washed away. For three days I believed she and my sister were dead before learning they were safe in a shelter. Mum moved to Seattle to live with me. She had lost many people and was overcome with grief.