The prosecution: Daniella
double quotation markIt’s not that I don’t want him here, but he needs to understand that I am giving up my space to host him
My younger brother Seamus is staying with me in my flat for six weeks. He’s a teacher and lived with me for a bit last year, before moving to Dubai.When he lived with me before, we split the bills and mortgage, which was a great help as I was in a tricky spot as a freelancer. He needed somewhere to live after our parents sold their house, so I turned my living room into a bedroom for him.After he moved out, I used it as a living room again. Now, he’s come back to see friends and family. I bought a sofabed for his stay, which set me back £400. While I like having him here, there has been some tension.Seamus immediately started changing things around in the flat. He turned up the temperature in the shower and I burned myself. He moved the chopping boards back to where he used to store them. He took the spare keys I was using, so I got locked out.I like going to bed around midnight, but Seamus wants to go to sleep at 10.30. On the first night, he asked to go to bed at 9.55pm, which meant I had to leave the room and stop the show I was watching. I kicked off. He said: “I’m tired and deserve my own space too.” But it’s not really his room any more. And he wasn’t fresh off the plane – he’d been staying with friends.It’s not that I don’t want him here, but he needs to understand that I am giving up my space to host him. I do appreciate Seamus helping out around the flat when he’s staying with me. He waters my flowers and does odd jobs. He’s not messy, but I have to ask him to pack away the sofabed every morning so I can use the room in the evenings.He’s no longer a lodger, but he’s not quite a guest either. I don’t feel it’s fair to ask him for a financial contribution, but I wouldn’t say no if he offered. He has no bills or outgoings and his rent abroad is paid for.Going back to living with someone 24/7 is a big adjustment. I’m single, and I’d started to enjoy spending time on my own. Am I being selfish or is my irritation reasonable?The defence: Seamus
