July 20, 2026 — 6:19pmAFL legend Mick Malthouse says a group of intruders who tried to force their way into his home behaved like “a bunch of cockatoos”.The former Collingwood, Carlton and West Coast coach told Melbourne Magistrates’ Court he couldn’t believe how much noise the trio made as they tried to break into the East Melbourne property in September last year.Mick Malthouse leaves Melbourne Magistrates’ Court after providing evidence on Monday.Jason SouthMalthouse told the court he got up in the middle of the night when he heard a noise, armed himself with a small, solid exercise bar and opened his apartment door to find three men.“I can’t believe they were that stupid and made that much noise trying to get in,” Malthouse said in his statement.He described the ensuing confrontation as chaotic, as he swung the exercise bar “and they swung back”.Malthouse said he then chased the trio down the stairwell to a basement carpark, with one of the men claiming they’d “got the wrong building”.“Like a bunch of cockatoos, they all followed one bloke,” Malthouse said.Malthouse said he initially ordered the trio into a corner of the car park in the hope of keeping them there until police arrived, but soon decided it was too dangerous and decided to the open the garage door.“It was like trying to herd cats – they were all over the place,” Malthouse told the court.The trio then moved past him toward the exit, Malthouse said, as he swung the exercise bar he had to keep them away.Malthouse told the court one of the men then stabbed him in the sternum with a screwdriver and said: “‘Now I’ve stabbed you, you bastard’ or something like that.”“That stays in my mind,” he added.Malthouse told the court that another man then raised a crowbar towards him, but he was able to wrestle it off him despite being dressed in his pyjamas. The men then fled.Joshua Di Cello, Aysar Mashu and Andrew Carroll have been charged with trying to invade Malthouse’s home, along with a raft of other offences. They have not yet been required to enter a plea.Defence barrister John Desmond, for Mashu, cross-examined Malthouse during the preliminary hearing, accusing the esteemed coach of angrily turning on the men when he confronted them.“You cracked not one, but two of them?” Desmond asked, referring to Malthouse swinging at the men with the exercise bar.Lawyer John Desmond.Jason SouthMalthouse replied: “If I had my way, I would’ve had the three of them.”Desmond then suggested to Malthouse that he’d effectively controlled the door through which the men could escape whilst swinging his exercise bar.“As absurd as it may sound, their liberty was deprived in those minutes or seconds by you,” Desmond said.“Yeah, well, if that’s the case, that’s the case,” Malthouse responded, agreeing he was angry. “It’s fight or flight – you don’t choose.”Desmond countered: “Well, you’ve never been known to take a backwards step on the footy field, have you?”After an objection from prosecutor Sam Jayasekara, Desmond said he was attempting to question Malthouse about an incident during his time at the West Coast Eagles in the 1990s to show that “in an angry state of mind, this man reacts angrily and violently”.Earlier in the hearing, Malthouse defended the steps he took to fight off the intruders and inconsistencies between his first and second police statements. He frequently disagreed with the defence’s characterisations, such as a suggestion he might not remember the order of events due to the chaotic situation.“I thoroughly remember being stabbed first,” Malthouse said, later re-enacting the thrust towards him in the witness box.Malthouse said he didn’t receive any medical treatment, but said he misjudged the trauma of the incident, during which he worried about the safety of his wife and a family with a young daughter in his building.“I don’t read minds of these sorts of people. I’ve got no idea how they operate,” he said.The hearing continues.Get the day’s breaking news, entertainment ideas and a long read to enjoy. Sign up to receive our Evening Edition newsletter here.From our partners