“He’s not going to sing, is he?” We wondered the same as our Roy when Tom Cruise appeared on the pitch gripping a microphone before the World Cup final, by then every glass in the house having been shattered by Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner. Tom, mercifully, didn’t croon, but he did address the globe, telling them that this World Cup – during which 48 nations kicked lumps out of each, Iran were treated like dogs and some folk from “s**thole” counties were denied entry to the US of A – had brought the planet together. “This is football! This is unity! This is greatness!” We’ll have what you’re havin’, Tom. We also had an appearance by Robbie Williams, who was wearing a costume last seen in 1974 when ABBA won the Eurovision Song Contest, and a “let’s get ready to rumble” introduction to the game which ended up being delayed by six minutes because of all the shenanigans. Not to be racist or anything, but please can America have the 2028 Olympics taken off them and never be allowed host a big sporty thing again?Gabby Logan bit her lip through it all, and tried to go all solemn on us when the actual World Cup trophy was brought on to the pitch “in a Louis Vuitton case”. “It’s like Micah’s washbag,” Wayne Rooney hollered, completely ruining the moment. Ronaldinho, Madonna and Ronaldo during the World Cup final half-time show. Photograph: Carl Recine/Getty Images Mind you, the first half was so awful, our commentators’ attempts to name-check the celebrities in the crowd provided the only form of entertainment. The BBC’s Guy Mowbray tried to sound down with the kids when he spotted Pharrell Williams and misidentified him as “AKA Rocky”, young people informing us that the latter’s name is actually A$AP Rocky, like we didn’t know. Darragh Maloney was much more honest. “I should know who that is. But any way.”We’d happily report on the first half action if there had been any, so on to the half-time show, which lasted 27-ish minutes, 12 more than Fifa’s rules allow for a half-time break. Has there ever been a more host-friendly Fifa gaffer than Gianni Infantino, bless him?The show featured Madonna with the Brazilian Ronaldo and Ronaldinho sitting in front of her, in what looked like a rollercoaster car, Animal from The Muppets drumming to Seven Nation Army, an Asian Westlife, Ted Lasso, Justin Bieber strumming a tune so doleful you’d have been reaching for the brandy, Shakira and children singing with Miss Piggy about how we all love each other loads, while men in tracksuits blew on vuvuzelas. “It wasn’t as bad as we feared,” said Mark Pougatch, who spoke for none of us, “Roy was tapping his feet to Miss Piggy.” “And it’s always good to see Shakira,” said Roy, although ITV’s co-commentator Ally McCoist was less enthused. “That has mentally scarred me.”The game? Well, it was turning in to as big a disappointment as the All-Ireland hurling final – and that was all Limerick’s fault due to them being majestic. “Hunting, hunting, hunting ... hounding, hounding, hounding,” as Dónal Óg Cusack described their first-half display. And they upped their predator skills after the break. Not even Will ‘The Terminator’ O’Donoghue’s prematch confession to RTÉ that he’s a kids’ cartoon fan and regularly watches Ratatouille could embolden the Galway attack.Limerick goalkeeper Nickie Quaid celebrates with Will O'Donoghue after the All-Ireland final. Photograph: James Crombie/Inpho Limerick, Ryan Fox and Spain. Have they ever all been in the same sentence before? Possibly not, but they combined to give us a Super Sunday that was super, if not quite as super as we had hoped.But while Limerick and Spain are no strangers to wining majors, Fox is not, so when he sank that putt on the 18th, his trembling reaction had some of us reaching for the Kleenex. It was lovely. And it completed a fine weekend for New Zealand – not least for Ryan’s former All Black da Grant – who, in rugby, had throttled ... no matter.Sam Burns had looked good for the Claret Jug, Sarah Stirk telling us that he might prevail due to “the nappy factor”, his wife having just given birth. “Sam was asked about this yesterday and he said if I’d known that I’ve had eight kids by now.” But that level of procreation would have been as exhausting as watching the World Cup final. Other than the sending off of Enzo Fernandez, not a great deal happened. Until Ferran Torres, the Aaron Gillane of Spain, did his extra-time thing. It was a fitting conclusion to this World Cup: good, but not great. World Cup Wallchart