See more Daily Mail on Google - save us as a Preferred SourceBy GRACE BANNISTER FOR YOU MAGAZINE Updated: 12:34 BST, 17 July 2026
Life can feel like a hamster wheel; you're constantly running towards the next goal or achievement, and rarely looking back. What's worse, we become so focused on ticking off our 'must-achieve' lists that we rarely get to enjoy reaching them. Tal Ben-Shahar, a psychology expert, coined the term ‘arrival fallacy’, describing our often misplaced belief that reaching a certain goal will finally make us happy. ‘Arrival fallacy is the illusion that once we make it, once we attain our goal or reach our destination, we will reach lasting happiness,' he says.As Elizabeth Walker, Cognitive Behavioural Coach, explains ‘Once you achieve the goal, your nervous system recalibrates almost immediately. Over time, this turns your attention away from what is happening now and places your wellbeing in the future.’ Elizabeth Walker, a Cognitive Behavioural Coach, offers her tips on overcoming arrival fallacy.A recent survey found that 81% of respondents feel behind in life, too focused on what’s next to appreciate what they’ve just achieved.It happens because the brain is wired to focus on future rewards. When you’re working towards a goal, dopamine is released in the body as you’re making progress, but when you’ve achieved your goal you can often be left directionless.And it's not just your average Joe finishing a project at work, the illusion affects students and A-list athletes alike.So, how can you avoid it?It feels particularly difficult when we’ve been raised to believe that awards, accolades and achievements are the key to unlocking success.The good news is that there are some psychological tips and tricks to start rewiring your brain and your relationship to goals and success.One way is by journalling. We’ve all heard about gratitude journalling, but Elizabeth Walker says we should try to shift the focus and ask what you’re proud of yourself for. She says: ‘Ask yourself, “Where did I notice progress, rather than perfection?” This internal recognition is often far more stabilising in the long-term.’ When journalling, try to focus on what you're proud of not just what you're grateful for.Another tip she recommends is staying present in the between periods, which can often feel like dead space. ‘Your life is happening right now in these in-between moments. Fulfilment shouldn’t be reserved for milestones,' she says.Stop the hamster wheel and take a moment to pause, look back and appreciate what you’ve achieved so far. ‘We can often become so wrapped up in looking ahead to the next milestone, that we often forget to acknowledge our achievements so far,' she says.But Walker is clear, ‘Ambition itself is not the problem.’ Goals and achievements aren’t inherently bad, but placing happiness and self-worth on them is. While goals and achievements aren't necessarily bad, your happiness shouldn't depend on it. ‘If you constantly tell yourself you will feel better when you reach the next milestone, you may begin attaching your sense of peace to something that only exists in the future,' she says.She recommends redefining how we see our goals. Instead of the few and far between milestone achievements that can often leave us feeling directionless afterwards, she says we should focus on the achievements in our daily lives. ‘Setting goals can be motivating, but lasting happiness often comes from enjoying the journey, not just reaching the destination,' she concludes.
