The author moved from New York to rural Tennessee.
Courtesy of the author
As a native New Yorker, I thought my move to Tennessee was temporary. But I'm a country girl at heart.Starting over a thousand miles from loved ones is challenging, especially as a new mom aged out of childbearing years. My daughter Violet longed for friends, and I did too. But we couldn't find any.I tried going to things even miles awayI joined every mom Facebook group within a hundred miles, driving 50 minutes for mom coffees, hikes, tinker-tots, gymnastics, and play centers.Coffees and hikes were one-offs; I got lost in the city park looking for tinker-tots, melting down while my daughter happily swung. The play center was great, but families came pre-paired. Gymnastics was amazing but anti-social.My heart cracked every timeViolet shouted, "Look! Kids!" at our playground, right before they'd leave. Like storytime, everywhere were closed, tight-knit families. One invited us to a creek, but canceled. Like an awkward 4th grader scanning the cafeteria, I kept returning. Every trip North visiting cousins was bittersweet; she loved them so much that I questioned starting a life across the country.I slowly found communityA flyer on the library's bulletin board introduced a Friday playgroup, 40 minutes away. Twelve moms awkwardly made small talk while 30 kids ran wild. Violet clung to me. When the playgroup ended two months later, we were just starting to warm up.Another mom also wanted community, so she reached out. Our smaller group was less overwhelming, and very slowly, organically grew. The kids loved each other. We moms do, too, bonding over stories of new mom fears and the difficulty of finding friends.
