The prosecution: Rita
double quotation markThe way he presents it makes me feel as though I’m being a burden or that I now owe him something
My housemate Gary recently got a free ticket to a festival through his job. It’s one we’d both talked about wanting to attend, but money is tight for me at the moment, so buying a full-priced ticket wasn’t an option.When Gary told me he’d got the free ticket, I suggested we could buy a second one and split the cost. That way we’d each be paying half price and would both get to go.At first Gary’s view was that the ticket had been given to him through his work, so it was his to use as he wished, which is obviously true. He also said that if he’d had to pay full price, he might not have gone at all, so the free ticket was simply a lucky perk.Since then Gary has agreed to my suggestion. However, he has framed it as a significant favour. His exact wording was: “I am making myself pay for something that was free for me so you can benefit.” I think this is a selfish mindset. He joked that I was being oversensitive, but I don’t agree.Gary said that by agreeing to split the cost he is spending money he otherwise wouldn’t. I do appreciate that, but this is the only way I could attend. He invited me knowing that I wouldn’t be able to go otherwise.He doesn’t have anyone else to go with, so he is gaining a festival friend. However, the way he presents it makes me feel as though I’m being a burden or that I now owe him something. It’s reached the point where I almost don’t want to go any more.Gary thinks I’m being silly and should just be grateful that he’s agreed to the compromise. I feel that, while gratitude is appropriate, constantly emphasising the sacrifice takes some of the enjoyment out of the gesture, and now I’m not sure I want to go at all.We have lived together for three years, but never dated, despite what some of our wider friendship group think. My best friend said this disagreement is like a marital tiff, but personally I wouldn’t want a husband who counts every penny.The defence: Gary
