John Nuar's father went into memory care in 2021 after years of living with his family.
John Nuar
This interview is based on a conversation with John Nuar, 34, who lives in Canton, Michigan. Nuar built a home to live in with his father with dementia, where he lived from 2017 to 2019 before moving in with his brother. He lived for three years in memory care before he died in 2024. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.I work in supply chain management for an automobile company in Michigan. I have two siblings, and since my 20s, have been a caregiver for my father. My dad started having early memory lapses around 2015 when he was in his late 60s. It got to the point that in 2017, we wanted him to live with my wife and me because he needed more support. He needed to be on the first floor due to hip issues preventing him from doing stairs. My dad was on board with moving in with us. We had to frame it in a way that didn't take away his independence, making the things that are hard for him easier.My wife and I went under contract for our current place in January 2017, and the builders told us it would take six to seven months to finish. We sold our other house at the end of August to give ourselves a month to move. When the time came, the house was nowhere near done, so my wife, our two dogs, and I lived with my sister and her kids while my dad bounced between his two siblings, which wasn't great because he kept getting lost.
