The heat is on. The R&B group Kool and the Gang may be co-headlining the historic ‘A Capitol Fourth 250th Weekend Celebration’, but that isn’t doing anything to cool the flaring political tempers in Washington during a record heatwave. Instead, the two-week-long ‘Great American State Fair’ on the National Mall to celebrate American emancipation from British tyranny has turned into the birthday party gone wrong.
The first sign that things were going awry for the party planners came a few weeks ago with the clumps of algae that began clotting the reflecting pool in central DC, which President Trump had tasked a company called Green Water Solutions to renovate. The company was true to its name. Green Water produced green water. In its current state, the reflecting pool has been variously likened to resembling a kale smoothie or Mountain Dew.
In an effort to deflect attention from the brouhaha over the failed renovation of the pool, Jeanine Pirro, the U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia and former Fox host, has announced that she will prosecute a former Olympic canoeist named Davey Hearn for allegedly vandalising the pool by dipping his hand into it and touching a piece of detached lining. Whether Pirro’s move will make much of a splash, however, is an open question. Lawyers representing Hearn insist that he is innocent.
