Fresh Start
Satirical newspaper The Onion has been locked in a legal battle trying to secure the rights to the disgraced conspiracy theorist's flagship property — but the show is finally here
InfoWars is back, and this time it’s not a bad thing. The right wing outlet once owned and operated by disgraced (and deeply indebted) conspiracy theorist Alex Jones relaunched on Thursday as a subsidiary of The Onion.
Shortly after 8 p.m. ET, comedian Tim Heidecker took the chair. “We have officially taken over InfoWars now, this is the new dawn,” he said in his unwavering Jones impression, before teasing that he had secret info on the network’s former owner. The broadcast then cut to The Jim Haggerty Show. Haggerty brought on former CIA agent Neil Riker (played by actor Phil Braun), who railed about all the conspiracy theorist hits, eventually coming to the wild conclusions that JFK had not killed himself at all, but had been assassinated, and that the Twin Towers, in fact, had been attacked by terrorists on 9/11 — and no one is talking about it.
The main event of the night came about 15 minutes in, when Heidecker brought his throaty Jones impression to the host seat, teasing segments on soybeans (“Not an organic product, engineered farming substitute for nutrition. It’s established in 1928, one year before the Great Depression!”) and a scandal within the funeral home industry (“About 60 percent of bodies buried now in America have been the wrong body, and many of them are alive!”). He then got to the big story of the night: Exclusive footage of Alex Jones exploding in his SUV after eating too many Whataburgers. He took calls, including one from Tim from Toledo, who viewers quickly figured out was comedian Tim Robinson. Tim from Toledo insisted that Jones had been dead before the supposed explosion — that he’s a character, like James Bond or Bozo the Clown, who is periodically replaced. Heidecker kept in character as he derided Tim from Toledo’s theory, with the caller eventually spouting back, “I will not be told this, that I’m full of shit. I reject that!”
