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Or sign-in if you have an account.Women who put off having children say they are not having as many kids as they'd like. Photo by Tero Vesalainen /Getty Images/iStockphotoOverwhelmingly, women are increasingly dissatisfied with our modern conditions, to the extent that no Hugo Spritz or pair of Jimmy Choos can cure. A 2023 Cardus study found that over half of Canadian women are having fewer children than they would like. Contrary to what you might assume based on Canadian conservative messaging, the predominant factor here is not affordability or housing costs. This study found that the most influential factors affecting fertility rates relate to the idea that children are burdensome, parenting is time-consuming, and that women want to finish self-development and exploration before starting families. Somewhere between avoiding pregnancy from ages 15-29 and self-actualizing ourselves into six-figure, corner office jobs, it appears we have lost our way. Raised on a heady cocktail of Sex and the City, Girls, Lean In, and She-EOs, it’s no wonder we find ourselves here, in a society that prioritizes material success over family formation. Women who have been incentivized to put off having children to build a career are becoming increasingly aware that their lives are missing something.Enjoy the latest local, national and international news.Exclusive articles by Conrad Black, Barbara Kay and others. Plus, special edition NP Platformed and First Reading newsletters and virtual events.Unlimited online access to National Post.National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.Support local journalism.Enjoy the latest local, national and international news.Exclusive articles by Conrad Black, Barbara Kay and others. Plus, special edition NP Platformed and First Reading newsletters and virtual events.Unlimited online access to National Post.National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.Support local journalism.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one account.Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments.Enjoy additional articles per month.Get email updates from your favourite authors.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one accountShare your thoughts and join the conversation in the commentsEnjoy additional articles per monthGet email updates from your favourite authorsSign In or Create an AccountorA generation of women were indoctrinated to believe that pregnancy was a burden, only to be undertaken after fully self-actualizing, and with full awareness that it could be a career ending move. As a result, there is a growing divide between men and women when it comes to desire to have children. A 2024 Pew Research Poll of young American adults without children ages 18-34 found that young men are more likely to say they want to be parents someday by 12 percentage points more than young women.This newsletter from NP Comment tackles the topics you care about. (Subscriber-exclusive edition on Fridays)By signing up you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc.We encountered an issue signing you up. Please try againPrizing achievement over fulfilment teaches us to view other people as competitors in the marketplace of human experience, actively incentivizing us to shred our bonds of human connection. But goods will never be a sufficient replacement for human connection or a sufficient antidote to loneliness.Last week in London, at the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship (ARC) conference, American author Arthur Brooks diagnosed our socio-cultural malaise as the result of “using people, loving things, and worshipping ourselves.” If we are ever to re-weave our social fabric, according to Brooks, and restore meaning to our lives it must be by rejecting this framing and starting to “love people, use things, and worship the divine.” The pursuit of soulless self-interest will never soothe the societal ills that plague all of us, but in particular young women.Our popular culture successfully recast having children as an obstacle to individual flourishing in itself and has done so in a way that forecloses any possible challenge to our new cultural hegemony. We have crafted a society that prioritizes self-interest to such a degree that to challenge this renders one hopelessly naive, unsophisticated, or “Trad” and we have redefined success in material terms, narrowly reduced to a slim definition of upward mobility and materialistic values.If you are a young Gen Xer or Millennial, Sex and the City was likely critical to your understanding of the world. From early days, young women and girls were encouraged to put on the sorting hat and determine whether they were a Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, or Charlotte. These ladies were the blueprint for what life in your 30s should look like. Carrie and Samantha’s endless parade of one night stands was portrayed as the ultimate manifestation of success, while Charlotte’s obsession with getting married and having a family was always framed as naive and provincial.The anti-hero to the faux-glamour of Sex and the City was Lena Dunham’s Girls. In Girls, we were introduced to a friend group very different than the glitz and glam of our Manolo-clad Sex and the City protagonists. Hannah, Marnie, Jessa and Shoshanna painted a much more pseudo-realistic picture of navigating your 20s in New York, replete with abortions, mental illness, and meaningless one night stands with men more likely to be found behind the sandwich counter than in a Calvin Klein campaign.Girls showed us the ropes of one of the great pursuits of our time: worshipping ourselves. Nowhere is there a more fitting example of the negative impacts of endless self-rumination than Hannah Horvath. Focused single-mindedly on herself, her path, and her problems, Hannah articulated the inner voice of a generation of young women who are laser focused on their own perceived shortcomings and disorders.It would be remiss to write on the results of our mass propagandization without addressing reality television. There is no better representation of how far-reaching our new world order has come. We are inundated with shows like the Bachelor, which turn romance into a competition, teaching us that people are merely competitors to use and throw away when they no longer serve our interests.The situation we find ourselves in should not come as a surprise. Women are simply responding to the incentives and directions that have been put before them. If society tells you that having a child will curtail your effort to find true happiness, who are we to disagree? We must do the hard thing, and realize that we have fallen for a toxic message in our effort to achieve a vision of success that is narrowly defined in material terms. It’s time to realize that we have been persuaded into a false sense of purpose and instead look to a life that fulfills our soul and not just our bank account.National PostKate Marland is deputy editor of Without Diminishment, where she comments on arts and culture. Formerly a litigator in Ottawa, she holds an M.A. in fashion history and B.Mus in orchestral performance. Join the Conversation This website uses cookies to personalize your content (including ads), and allows us to analyze our traffic. Read more about cookies here. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.