Last week we highlighted the scandalously high cost of being single when compared to being part of a couple. By our reckoning, when the higher costs of everything from accommodation and utilities to food and taxes were totted up, a single person living in Ireland today was left worse off by close to €38,000 a year if their personal finances were compared to those of an individual in a relationship. When we calculated the cost over 30 years, we were topping €1 million. But that is only part of the story, and the notional single person we had in mind might well find themselves looking at typical family units, or people who have taken a different road, and counting their financial blessings.Last year, Laya Life published an update on its Cradle to College Cost Index, which highlighted what it described as a “dramatic rise in the cost of raising a child in Ireland”.Its survey of 1,000 parents put the total cost to the average household of rearing a child to the age of 21 at €169,372.85, a 60 per cent increase in a decade. The Laya research contained a breakdown of costs covering food, nappies, baby formula, pocket money, rent support, Communion and Confirmation gifts, family holidays, university fees and birthday presents. It suggested the cost of nappies and baby formula has soared, with food and rent also climbing sharply, but – by Laya’s reckoning – the cost of family holidays and birthday presents had fallen substantially.Now, we are not in the business of picking holes in other people’s surveys but by our reckoning the Laya figures were wide of the mark – and we would struggle to see how things like holidays and birthday presents cost less in 2025 than they did in 2015. But that is neither here nor there as we had already decided to do our own assessment of how much it costs to have a child or three and rear them until they hit 21 in Ireland today. 1. BirthThe costs start to climb before the first child is born. It is entirely possible to have a baby safely in Ireland without paying anything, as, under an excellent and long-standing State health policy, antenatal visits, labour and delivery costs and postnatal care are all covered, regardless of whether a mother has health insurance or a medical card or the financial wherewithal to go private. Having said that, many parents do chose to go private, as the recent row at the Rotunda made clear. The fees charged by consultant obstetricians can vary significantly, even within the same hospital, but for the sake of this exercise we will allocate €3,000 per child for private maternity care which starts off our tally at €9,000.2. Baby kitGenerally speaking a first baby is going to cost a lot more than a second or third for the simple reason that our fictitious parents-to-be have to buy all the kit for their first child and will hopefully still have most of it by the time the second and third ones come along. We had a look at the prices of cots and bedding and buggies and changing stations and sterilisers and clothes and muslins and mobiles and monitors, and all the other bits and pieces that parents might need before the big day. We reckon it is not widely wide of the mark to say that the kit for child number one will set parents back around €3,000 and we will cut that by two thirds for child number two and three, taking the total spend to €5,000.3. NappiesParents will also have to spend about €30 a month on nappies from birth until a child is toilet-trained. Obviously every child is different, but the total cost of keeping just one clean and dry and smelling baby-fresh until they are able to use the loo themselves will come in at about €1,400, which we will multiply by three to give us €4,200. 4. HousingA single person or a couple without children can comfortably live in a one- or two-bedroom apartment or house but a family of five might find themselves quickly bursting out of such a living arrangement, so we have to add the higher cost of housing to the total bill. For the sake of argument we are going to assume that a couple with no children could happily live in a house worth €400,000 while a family made up of two adults and two children might be reasonably expected to pay €550,00 for a house. We feel compelled to stress at this point that it is entirely possible to raise a big and happy family in a small house but we will go with the €550k figure nonetheless. A 30-year mortgage on a house worth €400,000, taking into account a 10 per cent deposit, will cost the borrowers around €1,550 a month, with the Competition and Consumer Protection Commission putting the cost of the loan over the lifetime of the mortgage at around €614,000.However, a 30-year mortgage on a slightly bigger house worth €550,000, also taking into account a 10 per cent deposit, will cost around €2,150 a month, with the CCPC putting the total cost of the loan over the full term at €844,000. That means that the requirement for a larger housing unit for the couple with three children is going to cost a staggering €230,000 more over three decades. And on top of that we have to add the higher cost of heating and lighting the bigger home which conservatively might cost an additional €500 a year or €10,500 over 21 years.5. ChildcareAs many parents know all too well, when it comes to costs, childcare is an absolute killer. Prices charged by creches vary and there are plans from the Government to have the costs faced by many parents capped at less than €750 a month per child in the medium term. But we’re not there yet and many parents are spending a lot more than that. If we assume there is a requirement of four years’ worth of creche fees per child and we price it at €900 a month per child then we are looking at a total cost for three children of €129,600 in total over the course of their lives in creches. 6. SchoolCosts should fall once kids go to school, but that does not mean that part of the journey is cheap. Every year for as long as Pricewatch can remember, the Irish League of Credit Unions has been publishing back-to-school cost surveys, so we went back and had a look at last year’s numbers. It said the total back-to-school spend in 2025 would be €1,450 for primary schoolchildren and €1,560 for secondary schoolchildren.[ As raising a child tops €15,000 annually parents need a long-term financial planOpens in new window ]A child spends eight years in primary school – meaning parents will spend a total of €11,600, while they spend six years in secondary school, leaving parents with a bill of €9,360, taking the total to €20,960. But that only covers one child and there are three children in our notional family, which means the total cost of getting them all through primary and secondary school is €62,8807. After-schoolIf both parents are working, then children will need to be taken care of when the school day ends – at least until they reach 12 or so. If we allow a pretty cheap €100 a week for after-school care for 34 weeks a year for the eight years a child is in primary school, the total cost comes to €27,200.8. Third levelThen there is third level. The Laya Life figures from last year suggest that the cost of fees for university and third-level college were €3,387. If we assume our offspring are going to spend four years studying, then the total cost of three children studying for four years each comes in at €40,644. 9. Christmas and birthdaysThen there are presents. We have seen many surveys over many years that suggest a spend of €200 per child is not uncommon at Christmas time. For the sake of this exercise we will allow the same for birthdays and we will assume that the three notional children get presents of this value twice a year until they are 21. This means that parents can expect to spend €25,200 on gifts for their kids. 10. SummerSummers are expensive times for parents. Camps are hard to escape, with many parents sending their primary school-going children to two camps every year. At an annual cost of €600 for three kids for eight years, the final bill of that summer pursuit comes in at €4,800. A single three-week spell in the Gaeltacht for each child once they hit secondary school will cost about €1,800, taking the total cost of summer pursuits for two to €6,600. And what about holidays? [ Nine areas where it costs to be single and one where you’re quids inOpens in new window ]The summer spending does not end there. Once children hit two they have to pay full whack for plane tickets while accommodation has to be bigger and pricier the more children there are. We are going to assume that the children want to go on holidays with their parents until they are 18, which means 16 years of flights at full price for each of them. Let’s say the cost of flying to and from holiday destinations once a year costs a total of €400 per child, the cost comes in at €6,400 each, a total of €19,200. We will put the cost of accommodation at an additional €500 a year for 16 years – another eight grand gone. And prices in child-friendly locations spike in the summer months, so having to take holidays in July and August – as opposed to June and September – will add a further €1,500 to the annual cost for 14 years or so which will see parents forking out another €21,000 that those who do not have children do not have to spend. 11. ClobberThat takes us to clothes and shoes. If we allow an average of €500 a year per child to cover all of that for a total of 21 years – some years it will be more and some it will be less – then we are looking at spending an additional €31 grand. 12. Health insuranceWe are going to allow just €200 per child per year to cover health insurance until they hit 21. In truth it will probably cost a lot more than that but we are going to be conservative and eve then we are looking at an additional €12,600. 13. FoodSo to food. Smaller children don’t tend to eat a lot but teenagers most certainly do. We are going to allow an additional €30 per child per week for food until they hit 21, which gives us a total of €1,560 a year or €32,760 per child, a total of €98,28014. Pocket moneyThe little urchins are going to need pocket money, too – not from birth obviously – and they will most likely need a phone at some point. There might also be the odd trip to the cinema and to whatever takes over from Claire’s Accessories for ear piercings and the like. How much all this will cost will obviously depend on many, many factors but we are going to allocate an average of €20 a week per child to cover all of that from the age of four to the age of 21. That works out at €1,040 per child per year, giving us a total of €53,040. For lone parents in Ireland raising children can be more challenging than in two-parent households So, where does that leave us?We are glad you asked – when all these costs are added up, they total €832,744 over the guts of a quarter of a century, which is €277,581 per child. And it is worth noting that the €832,744 is on top of rather than instead of all the other expenses that the single people and double-income-no-kids couples we talked about last week. And we haven’t included things such as Leaving Cert holidays, driving lessons, financial support when they leave college, weddings and all the rest. We also didn’t include child benefit, which could be worth just over 90 grand in today’s money for the qualifying years. There is, of course, another type of family unit that is even more financially disadvantaged than all the rest. The single parent raising children alone. We heard from a single parent last week who had crunched some of the numbers. [ Third of households with single adult and children went into debt to meet ordinary living costs last yearOpens in new window ]“A single person earning €88,000 takes home roughly €5,128 per month. A married couple on the same overall income can take home closer to €6,083 per month – almost €1,000 more, purely due to how the system treats dual households,” she noted. She says that a single parent takes on full childcare responsibility, full household management and the full financial burden.“There is no second adult to absorb costs, time or income shocks,” she writes.“The reality for lone parents is that we are doing double the parenting, managing a household alone and covering costs (like childcare) that couples can share or manage between them.”She says that the reality is “lone parents aren’t just earning alone – they’re carrying the full cost of raising a family on one income. The tax system treats equal earnings as equal outcomes, but the reality is very different. Couples benefit from shared costs and tax advantages that single-income households simply don’t have. That gap isn’t just unfair – it’s built into the system.”