I knew that the endless hours I’d spent watching reality TV would one day stand me in good stead in my trade – and now it’s happened. For Andy Burnham’s journey to No. 10 is recognisable from a good many such shows.
It’s notable that his wife, Marie-France van Heel, was once a contestant on Blind Date. Andy himself would be a shoo-in for its sexy and souped-up heir, Love Island. There’s always an episode a few weeks in when the original contestants get a bit bored with each other – so enter the Bombshell. Bombshells can be of either sex, but they have to be more attractive than the majority of the boys or girls already in place; this is certainly true of Burnham. The Bombshell must be cheeky – have ‘chat’ – and Andy ascertained this immediately. ‘You’re not the Messiah!’ he was heckled after his swearing in. Rather than look like a paranoid android, as Starmer would, he grinned and pinged back, ‘Naughty boy’. It brought ease to what could have been a sticky moment; no wonder so many ladies, and not a few lads, were soon shoving their rivals out of the way to get into the front line of his selfie.
He’s not humble at all. He’s the new kid in town, with all the self-confidence and swagger that brings with it. And he’s not just a king now – but a kingmaker
