By Bunmi Sofola
JOKE, a secondary school teacher married to James for close to 19 years tried not to raise her three children the way she’d been raised. “My father was very authoritarian and we were all in awe of him He was such a bully that mum dared not cross him. Prospective girlfriends and boyfriends were met furtively behind their parents back, because whenever dad cottoned on to any of the children being ‘tosted’ there would be hell to pay.
“After I graduated from the university, I worked briefly in a private secondary school before I founded my own nursery and primary school. All my four children went to private schools and when Tolu, my eldest daughter was 16, I discovered she had a boyfriend. I encouraged her to bring him home, but what I didn’t know then was that he was 22 not 17 as I’d been told and an undergraduate. I was a bit concerned that he was older, but Tolu was besotted. I had taught her right from wrong and hoped she would be sensible enough not to let things go too far.
“The change in her was gradual at first. She started wearing provocative clothes and lots of make up. She became secretive and at times, was downright rude, but I wrote it off as just normal teenage behaviour. Then one Saturday night she didn’t come home. She told me she was going out with friends, but when she wasn’t home by 1a.m., I was beside myself with worry. ‘Where have you been?’ I screamed when she eventually rolled home in the early hours and we had a blazing row, followed by lots of tears when I slapped her out of anger and frustration.
