All rise. The Honorable HttpArena presiding.
Today's docket is exclusively C# versus C#. No Rust defendants smirking from the gallery, no Go gophers passing notes. Just .NET frameworks, their press releases, and a 64-core AMD Threadripper PRO 3995WX that does not care about your README. Every entry was run through 27 scored profiles in an identical Dockerized harness — server pinned to one half of the chip, the gcannon load generator pinned to the symmetric other half, so the prosecution literally cannot steal cycles from the witness.
The court's motto, etched above the bench: "Don't just say you're fast, prove it."
Before any number is admitted into evidence, the defendant must pass an 18-point validation suite with randomized anti-cheat probes — random query sums, two different random POST bodies (to catch response caching), empty-range DB queries that must return zero rows, and a TCP fragmentation test that splits the request across multiple writes with 30ms pauses. You cannot hardcode your way to an acquittal. Correctness is a precondition for a score.
Let's hear the cases.
