The Dáil chamber is a heat dome at the best of times. Some people love tuning into live debates, cup of tea and feet up in front of a roaring firebrand. This week, Sinn Féin’s Pearse Doherty has been deputising for Mary Lou McDonald at Leaders’ Questions. His default mode is fiery. Others, like Richard Boyd-Barrett of People Before Profit and Richard O’Donoghue of Independent Ireland are always on the brink of combustion.Leinster House is an old building. Rather like the TDs housed in it, there is no such thing as temperature control. The place is boiling. So when the first topic for discussion in Leaders’ Questions to the Taoiseach was about his Cabinet Committee on Water Quality, over-heating deputies were keen to dive in.The Ceann Comhairle said 20 TDs put their names down to speak in the short time slot allocated. Verona Murphy wasn’t sure if they would all turn up, but to be on the safe side she was allowing 30 seconds per question. No exceptions.Then the Taoiseach could answer in whatever time was left. A tall order for these professional talkers, but even more challenging when a sweltering meteorological heat dome has settled indefinitely over the parliamentary heat dome and everyone is flaked out in the unseasonal conditions.First, Micheál Martin gave a very comprehensive rundown of how much money was allocated in the last budget for water infrastructure (nearly €2.5bn) and what the Cabinet committee is doing about Government commitments on water-related issues. He crammed a lot into his opening three minutes as TDs limbered up for The Taoiseach’s Questions Bumper Sprint.Before the off, the Ceann, having surveyed the field and noted a number of non-runners, declared she was now allowing everyone a full minute to ask a question. But this could change if late entrants arrived. Then she began marshalling the jostling TDs, who are blue in the face asking very justified questions about water quality in their constituencies. Fianna Fáil’s Chap Cleere kicked off the session. He said he was happy enough with the arrangements as he was going first (and maybe might be able to snaffle a bit more time).But Verona was cracking the whip. “You’re still only getting a minute.”Chap, a TD for Carlow-Kilkenny, highlighted the problem facing communities in rural Ireland – places like Mullinavat and Inistioge – where poor water treatment infrastructure is impeding future growth and investment. Sinn Féin’s Darren O’Rourke (Meath East) had a lot to say about the state of “combined sewerage systems” in the county and how the Environmental Protection Agency’s programme is “not ambitious enough”. Fianna Fáil’s Erin McGreehan, from next door in Louth, stressed that eligibility for the Septic Tank Scheme is “far too narrowly focused” and needs to be expanded. Her colleague Tony McCormack from Offaly had serious questions about the implementation of the second stage of the Shannon Water Supply project. He asked the Taoiseach to work with him to apply pressure on Irish Water to make sure this happens. Micheál’s biro was going like the clappers as he took all of this down. Already, a familiar theme was beginning to emerge. It isn’t the first time TDs have complained about difficulties getting information for their constituents from Irish Water, even though a protocol for this is supposed to be in place. On Wednesday, yet again, they were bringing their cases to the top in the hope of getting more answers. Sinn Féin’s Ruairí Ó Murchú was next with another Louth query. This time, the water system in Hackballscross. There was smoke coming off the Taoiseach’s notebook. But no time to rest his hand as FF’s John Connolly from Galway West was already up on the hind legs and rearin’ to go. Verona was whipping them through faster than heifers and bullocks in the ring at a fatstock show. John wanted to talk about something called “The Bathing Season”. And the sweaty deputies lolling languidly in their leather chairs dreamed of taking a dip.Apparently, local authorities all around the country only sample water quality when the Bathing Season begins on June 1st and they stop at the end of September. Dublin is the exception, he said. Could the Coalition Water Committee look into legislating for testing throughout the year as sea swimming is hugely popular and people swim all year round now?“I know, Taoiseach, that you yourself enjoy a swim – I think on Christmas Day.” Micheál, exhausted from the notetaking and the heat and trussed up in a suit and tie, smiled wistfully. Sinn Féin’s David Cullinane immediately nudged him from his reverie with a story from Waterford and Woodlands Estate in Portlaw, where residents want to be connected to the public supply. “Could you enquire with Irish Water on my behalf?” His colleague, Rose Conway-Walsh, said the people of Newport in Mayo were waiting decades at this stage for a new water treatment plant. Aontú’s Peadar Tóibín made the case again for Meath and Jennifer Whitmore of the Social Democrats pointed out that last year 59 per cent of treatment plants consistently failed to meet the EPA standards set out in their license. And so to Richard Boyd-Barrett. Already overheating. “Met Éireann are saying we face tropical temperatures tonight,” he boomed. “It’s absolutely baking out there!”But all across the coastline of Dún Laoghaire Rathdown, there are warning notices saying you can’t swim. This situation must be improved, he told the Taoiseach, calling for same day water testing results and “the rehabilitation of this decrepit water infrastructure”. Paul Murphy of Solidarity-People-Before Profit raised the same issue. Thousands will be swimming out in south Dublin and “there’s a good chance you’re swimming in faeces”. The only advice from the council is to “avoid splashing and swallowing water”. Independent TD for Dublin Bay North, Barry Heneghan, looked askance at them from the side of the chamber. He had the last question. “Eh, I was swimming in Dún Laoghaire this morning, so I’m very worried.”He mentioned the support he got in his election campaign from the family of the late Sean Dublin Bay Loftus and called for the fast-tracking of the North Dublin Greater Water Treatment Plant, because the swim notices are popping up regularly on the other side of the bay as well.Verona pulled the plug on the questions as everyone had a say. “So that’s 13 deputies [to answer] in the eight minutes, Taoiseach please.” He finally put the pen down. “I’d love a swim now,” he said, with a heavy sigh. “I know, I know” soothed Verona, with an eye to the clock.“Well, you can’t go to Dún Laoghaire” shouted Chap Cleere. “Won’t get one” shrugged Micheál. “I’m working too hard all day, won’t get the chance. But you’ve all made me very kinda envious – listening about everyone going swimming. We’re in here. We should reflect.”He answered the 13 questions without going over time.Still didn’t get out for that swim though.