I’ve celebrated 12 birthdays in Ireland surrounded by friends, but without family who were left behind paper borders when I moved here from Syria in 2012. I went back to visit last year for the first time since I was forced to leave. I really wanted to return this year to celebrate my 40th birthday there, in Arabic with familiar flavours and faces. But recent developments in the Middle East made this wish unrealistic.I’ve lived almost half of my life in a state of war. The world was never stable enough for me to live in the moment, often so full of uncertainty and anxiety, so I have always drifted to the future instead. I became a dreamer, a storyteller.But for my birthday this year, I wanted to focus on living in the moment, to appreciate what is around me in my life in Dublin. So, instead of one big day, I decided to break the birthday celebration into 40 days of 40 moments that revolved around the number 40. Day 1Write 40 things I’m grateful forSuad Aldarra's 40 before 40 challenge I started listing the things I’m grateful for one after the other, and felt my heart grow warmer. I’m grateful for my family, for being healthy, for sunny days, for being able to be me, for not having to live in a war zone, for being able to laugh in hard times.Day 2Cycle for 40 minutesSuad Aldarra's 40 before 40 challenge Cycling was not deemed an appropriate hobby for girls in the Middle East, but I always wanted to try it, and so I learned to cycle soon after arriving in Ireland. The weather eventually put me off, and I managed to save up for a second-hand car. I don’t cycle much these days, but for the challenge, I took my bike out of the shed where it had been hiding all winter. The sun was out. I cycled back to Dún Laoghaire with a coffee break near the sea and a quick trip to my favourite library. Cycling makes me feel like I have wings. Day 3Watch The 40-Year-Old Virgin Steve Carell in The 40-year-old Virgin Steve Carell never fails to entertain, but you forget how offensive movies could be in this era, and how skinny all the girls were in the early 2000s. It made me remember the toxic diet culture and the distorted body image I had for many years.Day 4Buying the 40th bookIn Hodges Figgis, I started from a random shelf and counted 40 books until I landed at Your Life Without Me by James Meek, and bought it.Day 5Declutter 40 thingsAs someone who has moved a lot and lost touch with people and places, I find it hard to let go of sentimental objects. I’ve made attempts to live lighter before, but I think decluttering is something that should be scheduled on the calendar. I gathered 40 items – from clothes I’ll never wear to books I’ll never read – making one pile to donate to charity and one for the bin.Day 6Forty-minute bathBath time. Photograph: iStock Life is busy, and I only have time usually for quick showers. Today I finally made the time to light candles and sink into a hot bath.Day 7Forty minutes watching a sunsetSunset is my favourite time of day. I went to my favourite spot at Forty Foot beach and embraced the freezing breeze. It was 2 degrees. The clouds cleared, and the sun kissed the ocean. I watched the rest of the show through the window of my warm car.Day 8Forty minutes of comedyThis is one of my favourite things to do on a low mood day. Whether attending live comedy or watching a show from the comfort of home, laughing always puts me in a better mood. So I went to my favourite place for comedy, the Craic Den in Temple Bar. Day 9Donate €40 My charity of choice was Aware Ireland, which provides support to people with mental health issues. Day 10Play video games for 40 minutesPlayStation. Photograph: Rungroj Yongrit I used to be a hardcore gamer before life took over. I still have my games console, and I dip into the world of gaming every now and then. It’s an awesome distraction from anything that feels overwhelming or beyond my control. I picked a two-player game to play with my husband.Day 11Forty minutes of mini-golfGolf always looked boring to me from a distance. So I decided to try it, only to realise it is very boring indeed. The only good part was sharing time with three dear friends. Day 12Forty minutes of strength training I got into fitness in 2024. My passionate and patient coach, Sean Kennedy, changed my view on the gym and my relationship with my body. For this challenge, he designed a special set of workouts with a mix of 40 reps, 40kg weights, 40 cadence and 4.0 tempo. Day 13Collect 40 leavesSuad Aldarra's 40 before 40 challenge In a nearby park with my family I looked for different types of leaves. Despite taking many walks there, I realised I rarely stop and look closely at nature. Day 14Forty-minute massage A Swedish full-body massage can change any bad day, including this one.Day 15Forty-minute swimThe water is a magical place for my body: the way I feel weightless, the way my worries float away, and the calming sound of the water. A swim in the pool today was a reminder to go more frequently.Day 16Forty minutes on a boatThis was supposed to be a trip from Dún Laoghaire to Howth, but I took the chance to try another route as I was in Dubrovnik on holiday. We took the boat from the old city to the island of Lukmik. Day 17Ask 40 people about the best advice they’ve ever receivedOver two days, I received thoughtful messages from friends – each made me reflect on my own life. My favourite: “In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?”Day 18Forty minutes of mentoringI’ve been lucky to have writers offer me time and support when I started my writing career, so, as a way to pay it forward, I offer free writing consultations to new writers. Today I talked to Sanaa, a lovely girl from Morocco who, like me, has a tech career but is also interested in writing.Day 19Forty minutes of paintingSuad Aldarra's 40 before 40 challenge Last year, I got a souvenir from a trip to Spain. It was a small paper sketch, six colours and a brush. All I needed to do was colour it, but I kept procrastinating. So I finally got that kit out. It was soothing, and I felt joyful looking at the end result.Day 20Forty-minute runI took up running in 2025. The farthest I got was 10km before my health took a turn. I had hope amid all the medical tests that I would join another 10km race this year, but after finding out I have asthma, I had to postpone again. Letting go and quitting can sometimes look the same, but today I wanted to recognise the difference. I gave away my race ticket. Day 21Watch a 40-minute documentary Suad Aldarra with her husband, Housam Ziad, and their eight-year-old son, Keenan Ziad. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw My husband is a big fan of documentaries. I gave him the chance to choose a 40-minute doc for us to watch. He split the time between three documentaries: on AI, why Korean sunscreens disappeared in the US, and why we say “okay”. It was entertaining, and I vowed to watch more. Day 22Read 40 pages in ArabicDespite having access to Arabic literature, in recent years I lost touch and became more immersed in English writing. I decided to make this day about reading Arabic. I picked a book from my shelf: The letters of Gibran Khalil Gibran to May Ziadeh. Forty pages in, I lost track of time. Oh, how much I missed this. Day 23Read 40 pages of Ulysses Ulysses by James Joyce. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw I swapped the 40 pages for an audio version: RTÉ radio had a great production, and the first chapter, Telemachus, was a perfect 46 minutes. Day 24Four hours of barista training Suad Aldarra's 40 before 40 challenge I spent precious time with Bartira, a lovely Brazilian woman, in her workshop, learning about my favourite drug: coffee. Day 25Bake 40 biscuitsSuad Aldarra's 40 before 40 challenge I’m lucky to live next door to a baker. Elida came over to my place, and together we baked 40 buttery biscuits. Day 26Forty minutes playing pianoThe last time I played piano was in 2011, in Syria. The war started shortly after, and we had to stop the lessons for safety reasons. I kept my music sheets, but never touched a keyboard again. Last year I brought some of my things back from Syria, including the music sheets. It was time now to try to play again. I placed them on top of my keyboard and started, one note after the other. I was back home. I was 24 years old again. Day 27Learn 40 Irish wordsI asked my Irish-speaking friends to teach me some words. I learned bródúil for “proud” and leabhar for “book”. My kid, Keenan, helped me with more. It was wonderful to be able to read a bit of Irish finally.Day 28Forty minutes dancingI took a jazz funk class at Drop Studios, joined by my friend Cristina, a former contemporary dancer. I stumbled to follow the instructor Vinicius Martins’s steps. He was kind to repeat the moves and helped me find my feet. Day 29Forty minutes playing football As a kid, I played football with my three brothers, in front of the house and in video games. I had to stop when I turned into a woman. Because the weather was bad today, my kid and I played Fifa on the PlayStation instead of outside. Needless to say, I lost every match. Day 30Drive 40km to somewhere newI love driving solo. I took the M50 south of Dublin. After 30km I started reading road signs. Ashford. This was a new place I hadn’t been before. I exited the motorway to explore. Another sign led me to Mount Usher Garden. I checked the map on my phone. This spot was marked “Want To Go”. I have loads of those marks, but I rarely arrange a trip. The garden was gorgeous in the sun. The trees were numbered from 1 to 86. I followed the path until I found number 40, Mexican Cypress. I still had 10km in my challenge, so I drove to Vartry water reservoir. It was breathtaking. A good reminder to take the time to explore. Day 31Forty minutes climbingSuad Aldarra's 40 before 40 challenge This turned from a solo activity to a family one. At Explorium, the three of us tried wall climbing. The challenging part was trusting the rope when we let go to descend. Keenan was by far the bravest. It reminded me of being a kid myself and climbing trees with no fear. How do we lose that when we grow up? Day 32Forty minutes in a saunaSauna ritual I entered the warm world of sauna two years ago, and it completely changed my winters. Being trapped in a hot box was not something I imagined I’d love, but it has become a solitude ritual I look forward to. My favourite is in Sandycove cafe and yard. Good food, coffee and a fireplace to keep warm afterwards. Day 33Write a letter to my 50-year-old selfA time capsule, to be opened 10 years later, if I’m here.Day 34Forty minutes of nothingMore like 40 seconds! This was a hard one.Day 35Forty-minute walkAs a high achiever, I tend to go straight into running, high-intensity workouts, and weightlifting. It took me a long time and several sports injuries to understand the importance of slowing down, and that walking is as important for the body, not to mention that great thoughts for work come through slow steps. Day 36Contact 40 people who made an impact on my life I cowered out of this one, for fear of being perceived as “too much”, so I chose one person: my therapist, who helped me heal over the past year, one session, one trauma, at a time. I’m still on the journey, but I’m a better version of myself thanks to her, and I wanted to let her know. Day 37Take 40 pictures with 40 peopleI couldn’t do this one. I don’t have access to 40 people in one day, and there is no way I was going to reach out to strangers for this challenge. Day 38Forty minutes of a new sportThis came as a coincidence as part of my friend’s hen party. We booked an empowering session at Bungee Fitness, led by Lisa Farrelly. Day 39Baking 40 cupcakesI texted my second baker friend, Mihaela, to help me make 40 cupcakes for my birthday celebration, but she was a step ahead and had already planned it as a surprise. She delivered 40 cupcakes in three delicious flavours. Day 40Go to the Forty Foot and celebrateSuad Aldarra at the Forty Foot in Dublin. Photograph: Nick Bradshaw I’m lucky to be surrounded by friends who show up for me as family. At the Forty Foot bar in Dún Laoghaire, we toasted the end of this 40-day challenge, and the beginning of a new chapter.