She was the girl next door from a foreign land who married a prince and has now spent a lifetime at the heart of the Royal Family.From Trooping the Colour (where she and her husband were among a handful of remaining royals on the balcony last week), to state banquets and Royal Ascot, she is a regularly reassuring presence at the King and Queen's side.And yet few would recognise Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Gloucester – Birgitte to her adoring husband Prince Richard – if they walked past her in the street.I have to confess, a few months ago even I didn't spot her when I sat next to her in the hairdressers for the best part of an hour. It was only when the elegant lady enjoying a cut and blow-dry on the salon floor (no VIP treatment for this HRH!) offered me a companionable smile as she got up to leave that it clicked who she was. And that's very much the way she likes it.As she turns 80 today (a milestone that will be 'quietly' celebrated by the Duchess and her family), close friends and admirers have spoken to me for the first time to shed light on this most enigmatic royal: a woman who has had a ringside seat on every event of the past 50 years, but has never uttered a word about it in public.She continues to be, in the words of one palace insider, a 'refreshingly drama-free zone'.Born in the Danish city of Odense, the birthplace of Hans Christian Andersen, Birgitte van Deurs might have stepped out of one of the legendary storyteller's fairy tales herself.The daughter of lawyer Asger and his wife Vivian, she enjoyed a privileged but ordinary childhood. Her parents divorced when she was young (Birgitte took her mother's name) and she lived with her mother and stepfather Carl Christian Marx-Nielsen. Birgitte, Duchess of Gloucester and Queen Camilla at Royal Ascot on June 16, 2026 Prince Richard, Duke of Gloucester and Birgitte, Duchess of Gloucester at Royal AscotWhile at her summer house in the glorious seaside village of Skaboeshuse she met her great friend Anne, now Baroness Rosenorn-Lehn, when she was ten. The pair have been inseparable ever since.'We grew up doing so many wonderful things together,' Anne recalls fondly. 'We would cycle through the woods and fields together, go swimming in the sea or ride some of the horses in my father's stables or play tennis.'Above all, we made each other laugh. When we see each other, even now, we just look at each other and burst into laughter. While my mother thought we were too irritating, the Duchess's mother thought it was hilarious to hear these giggling girls. She thought it was wonderful.'In the mid-1960s Birgitte was attending a languages school in Cambridge when she met Prince Richard. Born fifth in line to the throne he, like the late Queen Elizabeth, was one of King George V's nine grandchildren but very much a 'spare'.It was his elder brother Prince William who was to inherit the dukedom while Richard pursued his passion for architecture outside of royal constraints.Birgitte soon moved to London where she became 'an ordinary nine-to-five secretary' in the Danish embassy.The prince rejected the Crown Estate's offer of a 'magnificent' villa and insisted on buying his own flat in a 'not very salubrious part of Camden Town' which enabled him to walk to work at a architect's practice – and offered privacy for Birgitte to stay over.They got engaged in 1972 and were wed the following year at St Andrew's Church in Barnwell, Northamptonshire, close to the family estate (since sold as its upkeep was too expensive).She wore no tiara, simply a veil adorned with stephanotis flowers, said to symbolise marital bliss. The Duke and Duchess of Gloucester after attending the annual Order of the Garter Service at St George's Chapel, Windsor CastleBut just six weeks later Prince William – dubbed the James Bond Prince for his good looks and glamorous lifestyle – died while racing his plane aged 30.Overnight Birgitte had to forgo her quiet life to undertake hundreds of engagements a year and live in a Kensington Palace apartment. Their working-royal transformation was complete in 1974, when Richard became the Duke.Dame Louise Wigley, a lady-in-waiting who has worked for the family for 54 years, tells me: 'Their Royal Highnesses are both very grounded and they just got on with their new life. The Duchess has quiet strength and I don't think that I saw any doubts.'Her friend Anne agrees: 'As a couple they have been very good together, and good for each other. Their life has been very different from what they expected it to be, but they are both very committed to their duty. She is a very curious, obliging and kind woman. She just wanted to do her best.'The couple have three children: Alexander Windsor, Earl of Ulster, Lady Davina Lewis and Lady Rose Gillian, as well as six grandchildren, none of whom pursue royal duties. Birgitte has around 60 charities and patronages she supports. Earlier this month I accompanied her to the Chailey Heritage Foundation, providing support for children living with disabilities in Sussex.Small and soft-spoken with the gentlest hint of a Danish accent to her impeccable English, she was utterly charming.When presented with a bouquet by one girl, Birgitte asked her to pick her favourite flower then handed it back. The girl, who could not communicate verbally, beamed from ear to ear.Mark Russell, chief executive of the Children's Society, of which she is royal president, recalls how at the start of the pandemic he was astonished to get a call from her 'when my blood pressure couldn't have been higher... just to check in on me and see how I was. It actually made me cry.' Left to right: ice Admiral Sir Timothy Laurence, Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh, Prince Edward, Duke of Kent, Prince Richard, Duke of Gloucester and Birgitte, Duchess of Gloucester on the balcony of Buckingham Palace during Trooping The ColourBirgitte willingly took on British citizenship – friends say she is 'proud to be British' but is equally respectful of her Danish heritage and retains many childhood traditions, such as the family still celebrating Christmas on December 24th with goose for dinner.And Kensington Palace staff were thrilled when she shared her recipe for homemade elderflower cordial – so very exotic back then!But there must be something that gets her even slightly hot under the collar? 'People not picking up their dog's mess – I've her seen her quite irritated by that,' says one visitor to Kensington Palace, who often sees the Duke sent out armed with poo bags. 'Honestly that's about it. I promise you!'Indeed the couple lead a quiet life, love nothing more than doing jigsaws together and still hold hands on engagements.One of Charles's first gestures as monarch was to make her a member of the Order of the Garter, the highest order of chivalry, as a mark of his gratitude.I am told she was so moved by the honour she cried. 'She's an absolute trooper and has never given the Royal Family a day of worry in her life,' a palace insider says. 'And she never, ever wants to be the centre of attention. When they call, she is there.'A drama-free Duchess from foreign lands,who doesn't seek the limelight? I think we can all raise a glass of Danish elderflower cordial to that.