One of the many qualities of Clarkson’s Farm, the television show which, over five series, has documented the quest of unreconstructed petrolhead Jeremy Clarkson to run a working farm in the Cotswolds, is its unvarnished depiction of the realities of agricultural life: the pleasures and the pain, the fulfilment and the frustration, the matters of life and of death. This is reality TV at its very best. And just when we thought it couldn’t get any more real…
In the penultimate episode of series five, Clarkson is having a discussion about the harvest timetable with his senior colleagues, Charlie Ireland, agronomy consultant, and Kaleb Cooper, farm manager. And what starts as a simple matter of scheduling – “I think it’s very clear,” says Ireland. “Oats next week. I think the wheats will be ready probably the week after.” – takes a dramatic turn when Clarkson leans back on his chair, glasses on head, arms behind his head, and announces: “I’ve got cancer”.
“No,” responds an incredulous Cooper, wiping his eyes. Clarkson explains, almost in passing, that his cancer is “aggressive, but it’s really early”, and that treatment falls “slap bang” in the middle of harvest. It will mean that he’ll be “slightly out of action”. After a short exchange on the farming practicalities, Clarkson sighs: “Pisser though, isn’t it.”
