The year Katherine Morgan turned 30, she opened her own romance bookstore, Portland’s Grand Gesture Books, and was finally dating someone serious. On paper, her dreams were coming true, but in reality she was overcome with anxiety and on the hunt for a new therapist — ideally a Black woman like herself. Morgan’s boyfriend was white and she’d always lived in the Pacific Northwest, so she was certainly used to explaining the nuances of her experience to people around her. But therapy would have been a nice break.
Unfortunately, Black clinicians are extremely underrepresented in the field, especially in a majority-white city like Portland, which is how Morgan got paired with “this little white gentleman” named Robert. It was funny, and a little awkward at first, but ultimately there was something really helpful about getting Robert’s perspective on dating.
“He gave me tips about initiating sex, and I didn’t feel embarrassed about it because it was such helpful information.” Morgan and her now-fiancé were starting to talk about getting married, and Robert pushed her to articulate why it was so important to her.
“I was honest. I told him, “Well, you know, it makes me feel chosen. I want to be chosen. Is that bad to say?” Robert assured her it was common and that there was nothing shameful about it but reminded her that marriage would be about her choosing, too. It would be about choosing each other all the time. “I was like, Damn, Robert.”
