The prosecution: Penelope
double quotation markIt doesn’t matter that it only takes five seconds. It’s a flagrant disregard for property rights
My husband, Spencer, and I have two children, Georgia, 12, and Alex, nine. We are usually quite aligned on how we parent, but I recently learned that Spencer is a little more relaxed with our children’s garden activities.During half-term, Spencer was at home and I was at work. When I got back and asked the kids how their day was, they told me their ball went over the fence and into the neighbour’s garden. I assumed our neighbours hadn’t been in and the ball was still there, but they said “Dad let us hop over the fence to get it.” I was shocked.When I spoke to Spencer, he just shrugged and said it was fine. These neighbours are a middle-aged couple with no kids. He said getting the ball only took five seconds, and then Alex and Georgia hopped back over. I asked them how many times they’ve done this and they said “four or five”.This is a flagrant disregard for boundaries and property rights. If we allow our kids to hop over fences into spaces that don’t belong to them, we are encouraging public and private disobedience. It also reflects badly on us if the neighbours happen to be in one day. So far, it’s been OK, as they’ve been at work.I said to Alex and Georgia that they need to be more careful with their football and tennis balls. We have a large garden and there’s no need for their balls to be going over the fence. It is really Spencer’s fault, though. He should be the disciplinarian.We have a good relationship with our neighbours, but we haven’t asked their permission to retrieve these balls so if they suddenly see my kids playing in their garden, they would have every right to have a go at us.I’m annoyed at Spencer for encouraging this. I am the stricter parent, but I thought we had similar styles overall. He thinks it’s funny how annoyed I am over this, but it’s the thought that Alex and Georgia have done this many times without me knowing. Spencer needs to see that he is in the wrong and be stricter when I’m not by his side.The defence: Spencer
