The Harrow Council ‘enforcement officers’ might have been more extreme in their language than other members of the Fake Fuzz, but their arrogance was entirely typical. Uniformed security guards are appearing everywhere. Shops, pubs, train carriages – the wannabe rozzers are there, in your face, vests bulging, walkie-talkies at the ready. They glower and loom, filling your day with bad vibes and absurd rules.
It’s unclear what started the argument in Harrow, but the member of the public whose video went viral last week was told by the two officers not to ‘butt in my business’, then ordered to come to a nearby alleyway where one of them would ‘show you what time it is’. Needless to say, the man refused the offer. The guard continued: ‘I swear, when I’m not in uniform, I’m going to knock you the fuck out and rip your teeth out.’
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While most Fake Fuzz operatives are less aggressive than this, their condescending self-importance is all the more irritating for its stupidity. Retail parks often employ them, as do individual businesses. A shop in my town has an entry gate, about three yards inside the door, one of those waist-level things that open automatically. Except it doesn’t anymore, so you have to push it.
