As if the breakdown of a marriage wasn’t already painful enough, can you imagine having to live with your ex during divorce proceedings? That’s the reality facing an increasing number of couples who can’t afford to live in separate homes after they’ve decided to call it quits.
“You realise quite quickly that divorce can become akin to a game of chess,” says Nicola*, 42, who has been living with her estranged husband and their two children for over a year. “I am my children’s safe space; it is imperative that I stay in our home for their wellbeing. So I am stuck living with my ex, who is trying very hard to manipulate the finances so that I am left with as little as possible.”
Nicola, who initiated the divorce after 14 years of marriage, says she is “emotionally drained” by the situation. “I run my own business, and I am the primary carer of our kids, and getting divorced has become a secondary job with the client from hell – only worse as we’re in the same house, acting cordially for the children. We’re both just existing in what can only be described as a tense limbo state.”
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How widespread is this problem? A survey from Zoopla in 2022 found that a third of Brits who split up with a partner they owned a home with continued to live together, for an average time of over a year, and the topic of cohabiting with an ex has been getting lots of attention on social media recently. Content creator Amber Whitni Strawn went viral on TikTok in April with a video in which she revealed she was still living with her ex-husband and three children despite being separated for a year and divorced for a month.
