A “You Know Me” public information campaign currently running across radio, TV and digital media is aimed at encouraging adults to be clear about their wishes in case they become unable to make decisions for themselves. The campaign is focused on encouraging older people to put their affairs in order. However, it’s a timely reminder to adults of all ages that having a “life list” could make all the difference if illness or accident meant a friend or relative had to take over the running of their day-to-day affairs for them at some point in the future. Most people’s experience of stepping up to make decisions for someone else comes when a parent or family member slips into illness or cognitive decline. It is very hard to watch a loved one fade away before your eyes, but it becomes even harder if you’re also wading through years of documents to find crucial pieces of information or left navigating the often inflexible bureaucracy that goes with trying to get things done when you’re not the named account holder.Safeguards have to be there to protect privacy and prevent fraud and financial coercion, but sometimes corporate entities forget that it’s people, often in a distressed state, that get caught up in all the red tape.Suggesting to a parent or relative that they make a life list or that they might need a bit of help with administrative tasks is not easy, particularly if they’re already struggling with comprehension or likely to take offence at this perceived invasion of their privacy. But avoiding the elephant in the room now is stacking up pain for later and the situation can become especially tricky if adult children are unfamiliar with where a parent’s personal records are kept. In short, the “what if” conversation needs to take place well before any decline or crisis happens. It’s also worth bearing in mind that with some illnesses, the decline can be rapid, so time is of the essence. Most people are not good at facing the prospect of their own mortality so they put uncomfortable tasks such as making a will on the long finger. It’s the same story when it comes to assembling the key bits of financial and practical information needed to manage their affairs if they no longer can. (This is separate to any formal health or legal arrangements someone puts in place such as the advanced healthcare directive or the enduring power of attorney.)In an ideal world wills and life lists would be seen for what they are – practical steps that once taken can be forgotten about until they’re needed. How one frames the conversation about preparing this information with a parent, relative or even one’s partner is important. Pitch the idea as a gentle suggestion while pointing out that getting things sorted now can help provide clarity but also reassurance for the future. Indeed, being offered help may well come as a comfort and relief to those who feel totally out of their depth in today’s digital environment. To get the ball rolling encourage your parent or relative to start putting all their important documents together in one place. For example, their will, house deeds, mortgage documents if relevant, LPT assessment, insurance policies, pension documentation and details of any investments they might have including property, prize bonds and State savings. Add to this file the names and contact details for professional advisers such as solicitors, accountants and pension/investment consultants. Next comes details of what’s needed to live day to day starting with money. Draw up a list of all bank, post office, credit union, building society and credit/debit card accounts with the account number, name(s) of the account holder(s) and the branch where the accounts are held. This is important as account holders may move around but leave their accounts at their original branch. On a separate sheet (which is to be put somewhere safe and kept well away from the main file) write down the pin numbers, usernames, passwords and emails associated with all accounts. Add mobile phone, laptop and tablet passwords to this list if relevant and also login details if someone is using the MyGovID digital portal to interact with State services or departments. Draw up a list of household bills and include the account numbers for the providers of gas, electricity, oil, TV/broadband, refuse collection and any other recurring charges such as monthly health, house and pet insurance payments, mobile phone bills, toll top-ups and house alarm monitoring fees. If bills are paid by direct debit, make a note of the debits and the dates the payments are due. If payments for utilities or other services are spread over the calendar year make a note of this too. Add any bills paid annually (such as travel insurance) and their due dates to the list. A list of regular service providers – plumber, electrician and so on is also invaluable. Tech-savvy older adults may also have paid apps and subscriptions on their phones or tablets. For example, a subscription to The Irish Times (of course), a prepaid parking app or an annual fee for computer virus protection. Make a note of all apps and subs that cost money together with details of payment frequency, renewal dates and any PINs or passwords required to access them. Finally, it’s no harm to start a second file for medical records and to attach a list of the contact details for the person’s GP, dentist, hearing aid provider and optician as well as the names of any consultants they regularly attend. Also, handy is a list of current medications. Print off a few copies so the information is readily available in case someone needs urgent medical care. You can contact us at OnTheMoney@irishtimes.com with personal finance questions you would like to see us address. If you missed last week’s newsletter by Ken Foxe on lost luggage, you can read it here.