The prosecution: Jordan
double quotation markI’m not trying to control her but having one shared calendar helps us plan our lives together
In the last year, I’ve made my girlfriend Charlene share her calendars with me. We’ve lived together for six years and it’s only recently that she’s given in. I thought it would be helpful to know what the other was doing – not because I’m controlling, but because it helps us plan our lives together – but she doesn’t like it.Charlene says that “we need to have independent lives”, but I think that’s impossible when you live with someone. We can still be independent and give each other a heads-up if we are hosting or going away.Charlene is always having people over to our house. She hosts knitting mornings once a week for her friends and she’s always having dinner parties and work events here too. I’ll come home and there’ll be three random girls she met on Instagram in my living room, discussing something heated.Charlene is very social and I love that about her, but it would help to have some advance notice. If I’m tired and coming home late, the last thing I want to do is talk to strangers about knitting patterns or work politics. I meet my friends out and about, but Charlene loves being at home and having people round.Charlene is quite stubborn. She has resisted making the calendar sharing easy, and has made three separate calendars. She has a colour-coded one for work, one for sports and one for socials, but they’re hard to read. I have one for everything, that I share with her.Charlene says I should “communicate better, instead of fussing over the details of the calendar”, but we both have full-time jobs and busy lives. We don’t always remember to say everything in person. She’s also not the best texter.She says the calendar is pointless, but today she told me she’s going to Scotland for a friend’s birthday on the same weekend I wanted her to come to my mum’s birthday, which I’d put in the calendar. She needs to stop being so half-arsed about the calendar thing, so that we’re both on the same page.The defence: Charlene
