When Micheál Martin was a young man, he decided to run away and join the circus. Along the way, he fell inside Fianna Fáil’s tent and the rest is history.To this day, he’s still inside the Big Top. On Tuesday, the summer rain belted off the glass skylight in its soaring roof as the Taoiseach fondly recalled his boyhood years in Cork and those exciting days when the circus came to town.It was in the middle of a discussion about excrement.“Solids,” as Richard O’Donoghue of Independent Ireland was at pains to point out to him.At least it was after lunch.The Minister for Health, sitting next to Micheál on the front bench, scrunched up her nose. Jennifer Carroll MacNeill is in the limelight over her no-nonsense approach to a serious outbreak of strong huffing and puffing among hospital bosses in the Rotunda maternity hospital who were experiencing terrible contractions over their consultant contracts.Carroll MacNeill came along and sorted them out with a stiff dose of financial reality. When is a signed contract not a binding contract? When you’re a consultant in the Rotunda signed up to a public-only deal in a public hospital while doing sideline private work on the premises. Holly Cairns, the leader of the Social Democrats, said her party fully supported the Minister’s stance in insisting that consultants contracted on public-only contracts should stick to the terms of them. Oh, and on the subject of happy arrivals, the leader of the Social Democrats has had some good news recently which we are contractually obliged to mention when maternity hospitals and related issues are discussed in the Dáil. No, it’s not that Cairns revealed last week she is expecting her second child. It’s her party’s win in the recent Dublin Central byelection. This meant that when Leaders’ Questions started yesterday, Holly had leap-frogged Labour leader Ivana Bacik in the speaking order. She is now second in line after Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald. This sort of thing is a big deal in the Dáil. So congratulations to Holly. Ivana, to be fair to her, took it very well. There’s a bit of a circus trick about the Rotunda’s contractions over consultants – now you see ‘em, now you don’t. Holly said she listened that morning “in complete disbelief” to the master of the hospital telling RTÉ’s David McCullagh that having consultants looking after private patients in the building “improved safety” for the other women giving birth. This was “because if they happened to be around when a public patient needed consultant care, they could potentially pitch in”. The Taoiseach wasn’t impressed by that either when he replied to her.The Soc Dems leader added: “This is the type of two-tier care that the head of the busiest maternity hospital in the country is fighting for.”Sounds like a bit of a contractual circus which needed Ringmaster Carroll MacNeill to step in with a firm whip hand to regularise matters. It was Independent Ireland’s Richard O’Donoghue who introduced the circus theme when his speaking slot came around. “I’d like to give my sympathies to the Fossett Circus family on the burial today of Marion Fossett. Their circus has been in existence for 138 years this year. They have been going around the country and internationally doing their circus,” he told the Dáil, adding that the circus comes to Limerick every year and they always include a charity day.He also extended sympathies on behalf of Independent Ireland. “My Leaders’ Question today, Taoiseach, is about fines. And about Uisce Éireann.”A puzzled looking Micheál looked over at him. “Fines?”Yes, confirmed Richard. Been looking for a proper sewerage system “for decades”.The Taoiseach continued to look confused. Fines?“No. Foynes. F.O.Y.N.E.S. County Limerick. The Port.” The TD for Limerick County welcomed the fact that the area is now getting an upgraded system, but there is a problem: the proposed facility only deals with secondary waste. “So, basically, to put it in layman’s terms, it’s remove the solids and let the rest go.”This waste is going back into the River Shannon, beside a yacht club, and it is now a health-and-safety issue, said Deputy O’Donoghue, making his case to the Taoiseach, a man he knows likes to go for a swim in the sea on New Year’s Day. There was sniggering from across the floor and this was no laughing matter. Some, like the Minister for Health, wrinkled up their noses like they had just been presented with a large bill by a consultant on a public-only contract.“I welcome all the bench over there to come to Limerick to Foynes,” boomed Richard. “And I welcome ye to go for a swim in it. That’ll tell me how much you’d actually think of it then.” The Taoiseach began his reply by paying his own tribute to Marion Fossett and the Fossett family “for their extraordinary contribution to Irish life”. “I remember as a young child attending Fossett’s Circus,” reminisced Micheál, thanking the family for what they do and sending the thoughts and prayers of the House on this sad day. Above in the Distinguished Visitors’ Gallery, Kirk Watson, the Mayor of Austin, Texas, listened with interest. It hadn’t been the most exciting of Leaders’ Questions to observe. He arrived in after the traditional fireworks between the Taoiseach and Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald. The chamber was also very sparsely populated, adding to the rather dreary atmosphere.And now here’s the Taoiseach talking about the circus. “Some might say I learned a few tricks meself through that experience,” he smiled, thinking of his childhood days watching clowns in Cork.Deputy O’Donoghue agreed. “Motion carried!” he chimed in, solidly.Wearing appropriate gloves, we hope.