Skip to Content Subscribe Our Offers My Account Manage My Subscriptions FAQ Newsletters Canada Canadian True Crime Canadian Politics Health World Israel & Middle East Financial Post NP Comment Longreads Puzzmo Diversions Comics NP News Quiz New York Times Crossword Horoscopes Life Eating & Drinking Style Sponsored Play for Ontario Travel Travel Canada Travel USA Travel International Cruises Travel Essentials Culture Books Celebrity Movies Music Theatre Television Business Essentials Advice Lives Told Tails Told Shopping Buy Canadian Home Living Outdoor Living Tech Style & Beauty Kitchen & Dining Personal Care Entertainment & Hobbies Gift Guide Travel Guide Deals Savings National Post Store More Sports Hockey Baseball Basketball Football Soccer Golf Tennis Driving Vehicle Research Reviews News Gear Guide Obituaries Place an Obituary Place an In Memoriam Classifieds Place an Ad Celebrations Working Business Ads Archives Healthing Epaper Manage Print Subscription Profile Settings My Subscriptions Saved Articles My Offers Newsletters Customer Service FAQ Newsletters Canada World Financial Post NP Comment Longreads Puzzmo Diversions Life Shopping Epaper Manage Print Subscription HomeLifeA beaver tale: An "interview" with one of Canada's crime mastermindsOur national animal has been wreaking havoc across the country You can save this article by registering for free here. Or sign-in if you have an account.Damnable beavers have been caught with stolen building materials across the country, and Iron Tooth Bruce has “told” Melissa Hank not to hold her breath waiting for an end to the mayhem. Photo by Brent Calver/Nature Conservancy of CanadaReviews and recommendations are unbiased and products are independently selected. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page.I’d heard legends about him. Short, stocky and beady-eyed, he was the head of a beaver crime syndicate that spread mischief across Canada for decades. They say that once he slapped his tail so hard, the soundwaves cracked a turtle’s shell.Enjoy the latest local, national and international news.Exclusive articles by Conrad Black, Barbara Kay and others. Plus, special edition NP Platformed and First Reading newsletters and virtual events.Unlimited online access to National Post.National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.Support local journalism.Enjoy the latest local, national and international news.Exclusive articles by Conrad Black, Barbara Kay and others. Plus, special edition NP Platformed and First Reading newsletters and virtual events.Unlimited online access to National Post.National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.Support local journalism.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one account.Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments.Enjoy additional articles per month.Get email updates from your favourite authors.Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.Access articles from across Canada with one accountShare your thoughts and join the conversation in the commentsEnjoy additional articles per monthGet email updates from your favourite authorsSign In or Create an AccountorHe’d been out of the racket for a couple of years, locked up after an timber-smuggling job went awry. So you can imagine my excitement when the one they call Iron Tooth Bruce agreed to a phone interview. I caught up with him one day after he finished teaching a court-mandated carpentry course.He may no longer be the one giving the orders, masterminding stunts that make headlines, but he’s still the best source of intel when it comes to the game. Here’s what he had to say about the beavers behaving badly across Canada.Q: The world’s biggest beaver dam is in Wood Buffalo National Park, about 190 kilometres northeast of Fort McMurray, Alta. Is that the headquarters for Canadian beaver mischief?A: It used to be. We liked it because it was remote and inaccessible, an 850-metre-long paradise. But then in 2014, a human named Rob Mark went there and blabbed about it to CBC News. He said he saw one beaver, and I quote, “he was slapping his tail on the water and wanted me out of there.” The guy left, but our cover was blown. So now we just use that dam for administrative purposes. The new headquarters is much bigger.Q: Still, that’s quite a feat. I don’t know of any other rodent that’s built that big of a compound. Where are the new headquarters?A: We consider “rodent” an offensive term. And the colony would rip out my under-fur if I told you where they are. Next question.Q: Just this past April, the Calgary Herald reported that RCMP officers from Hanna, Alta., found a beaver trespassing at the Freson Brothers food market. Do you know anything about that?A: Oh, that was just Webbed-foot Wendy. My guys told me she was probably trying to get to the firewood in the entrance. She ran in, sniffed around and tried to run back out — but the human door had closed. Poor thing. She hasn’t been the same since she found out Leave It to Beaver isn’t, in fact, about beavers.Q: Saskatchewan seems to be the target of a lot of beaver mischief. Why is that?A: It’s all in good fun in Saskatchewan. The humans were nice enough to name some places after us — the hamlet of Big Beaver, the Beaver Creek Conservation Area, and the Beaver City gold rush community come to mind.In 2021, we got them good, though. Someone left a bunch of wood posts piled on a property near Porcupine Plain, and we took them to build a dam. The RCMP got involved, and CBC News even covered it. I mean, if the posts are that special, put a sign on them that says “Do not steal these posts and use them to build a dam” — am I right?Q: Who’s the toughest beaver at large now?A: One-whisker Waylon. Biggest incisors I’ve ever seen, aside from mine. Back in 2017, he stopped traffic in Barrie, Ont., by sitting under a truck. Two humans named Matt Jones and Jesse Parente got him out, but Waylon wouldn’t leave the street after that.The humans called the cops and tried to poke Waylon out of the way with an ice scraper. Waylon tried to bite the Matt Jones guy, who later told the Barrie Today website that Waylon was “vicious.” Waylon also lunged at a cop. (Laughs.) Legendary.Q: Looking back over your reign as crime boss, what stunt are you most proud of?A: It’s gotta be the Tumbler Ridge Takedown of 2021. Another one that made CBC News. One of our best guys in British Columbia, Bucktooth Bob, and his crew chewed through a fibre cable that was buried about three feet underground and protected by a 4.5-inch thick conduit. The town’s internet went down on a Saturday morning and only fully came back on the Sunday afternoon.Bob and his guys, they’re gangsters. After the job, a Telus spokeshuman said there was a photo that showed them using Telus materials to build a dam, just to prove their point.Q: Finally, I have some quick-fire questions. Who’s your favourite actor?A: Woody Harrelson. Obviously.Q: First celebrity crush?A: I’m old school. It’s gotta be Twiggy.Q: And your favourite band?A: The Damned. But also, Styx.This interview has been edited for length and clarity. The incidents that Iron Tooth Bruce described are true and did in fact appear in the news outlets that he mentioned. But police are still investigating the specifics of the crime syndicate’s organization and its key players.mhank@postmedia.com Join the Conversation This website uses cookies to personalize your content (including ads), and allows us to analyze our traffic. Read more about cookies here. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.