Let’s leave aside for one moment Nicola Sturgeon’s claim of ingenuous innocence in the matter of her husband Peter Murrell’s splurging sprees – because apparently this savvy, forensically-minded stickler of a woman, the foremost politician of our age, is a ditzy scatterbrain on this one issue alone. There is a particular item on the long shopping list sticks out.
This, for once, was not a luxury item, something that could be hidden from timorous wee Nicola’s view in the secret chamber of that Bluebeard’s Palace in the Glaswegian suburb of Uddingston.
Court records revealed that on 7 March 2020, shortly before the first Covid lockdown, Mr Murrell bought 108 ‘luxury’ Andrex toilet rolls at a cost of £55.98. What makes this purchase particularly striking is that less than 48 hours later, Sturgeon – in the course of one of her daily emergency press briefings on the pandemic – told the Scottish public to ‘apply common sense’ and not to panic buy such items, as shortages were already becoming noticeable.
To further domestic mockery, I have invested in what I call the ‘Miliband Preparedness Kit’, just in case
Now, Sturgeon has claimed that she never saw the luxury motorhome purchased by her husband, or to have hardly spent any time in their kitchen, enabling her to overlook his acquisition of Lalique pepper grinders and high-end coffee machines. But a stack of 54 double packs of Andrex acquired by her Master Of The Rolls must surely have been a harder thing for the eye to pass over. Fairly regular visits to the smallest room of the house are, one would assume, unavoidable even for somebody with Ms Sturgeon’s superhuman qualities. Maybe what she was really saying to the Scottish people was ‘nae fash yourselves going after the bog roll, ma hubby’s already cleared them oot’?
